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8 Ohio University Alumni Besides Logan Paul Who Disappointed Us All

YouTube personality and popular douchebag Logan Paul was ostracized on the internet for posting a video that included the body of a person who apparently committed suicide. Besides making millions of dollars to produce garbage videos, Paul also spent some time here at Ohio University. Even though all Bobcats can be disappointed in Paul for staining the OU alumni page, we found other alumni who disappointed us even more. 

8.) Alexander Platt:

Platt graduated in 2013 with a nursing degree and what appeared to be a bright future. But today, he’s celebrating his three-year anniversary of working at a Best Buy near Toledo. He says he’s doing his best, but not even his manager agrees. Apparently, Alexander spends most of his time at work playing video game demos and repeatedly placing DVDs of Titanic on the shelf labeled “comedies.” We all expected more out of Alexander.

7.) William Henry Scott:

Scott was the first alumnus to become the president of Ohio University, an achievement that means virtually nothing once you consider that he a) left OU to become president of OSU and b) he tried really hard to combine OU, OSU and Miami into one school. William Henry Scott? More like William Henry NOT-All-That-Great!

6.) Doug Von Heeblemeier:

Von Heeblemeier is an accountant who relocated to Orlando after getting his master’s degree from OU in 1989. Although he earns six figures a year and is regarded as successful by many, Doug is a disappointment because he claims that he and Minnie Mouse are soul mates and spends all of his free time at Disney’s Magic Kingdom trying to win her over. Three Disney employees who wore the Minnie Mouse costume have filed restraining orders against Von Heeblemeier in the past decade, and although he’s been banned from all Disney theme parks nationwide, he continues to find ways to sneak in.

5.) Mary Murphy:

Murphy is a judge on So You Think You Can Dance?, but she graduated from OU with a degree in physical education, so what makes her think SHE can dance? We’re well aware that she did minor in modern dance, but that doesn’t really fit into the joke, which is disappointing in itself.

4.) Eliza Pulinsky:

During her five years as an OU undergrad, Eliza never really stood out academically, but eventually managed to earn a degree. Shocking even those closest to her, Eliza revealed in 2016 that she had no idea how to drink a glass of water, proving her to be even stupider than her professors originally thought.

3.) Samuel Bigger:

Bigger seemed like he might have been successful after studying law and graduating from OU in 1825, but we wish his goals had been a little more like his last name. He became governor of Indiana—not even one of the cool states—which is especially lame when you consider that six other people were elected to that position before him.

2.) Miranda Kirkpatrick:

Kirkpatrick is a 1993 College of Business grad, a loving mother of three, and, as of December 2011, a convicted arsonist. She’s currently serving a 30-year sentence for burning down a rival PTA mom’s house and is leading a gang in a minimum-security prison in Illinois.

1.) Ed O’Neill:

OK, so he hasn’t done anything wrong and is actually pretty successful, but Ed is a man in the entertainment industry who attended OU for a period of time. Given the way the past year or so has played out for people who meet all three of those criteria, the odds that O’Neill will disappoint us soon seem pretty good.

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