Connect with us
Connect with us

Ohio University

A Complete Guide to Athens Bars, And Where To Have A Mental Breakdown Inside Of Them

We’ve all been there: F on an essay? Dropped a plate in Nelson, and then everyone clapped at you? Napped through women and writing?? It’s OK! Go do what Athenians do best: get reckt. If you want to get trashy on “literally the worst day of your life,” The Black Sheep is here to help. The most discreet and cathartic places to cry inside Athens bars. OU, OH god why????

Smiling Skull Patio:

You have a quiz tomorrow on a book you didn’t read. You’ve used all of your three excused absences in this class. Just give up. Throw on some Johnny Cash, put a tear in your beer, and buy a cow or something. At least you’d have a purpose.

Union Bathroom:

The girl on Kyle’s snap BFF list just sent him a nude. After four dates and 12 hookups, you thought it was getting pretty serious. Cry it out in the Union bathroom, because it reminds you: MEN AIN’T SHIT. Get it together, Chelsea! Then get yourself a Baby Mama Burrito™. T R E A T Y O S E L F.

Lucky’s Liquor Pitchers:

If you cry right into the pitcher, you’ll have more drink. A great way to turn your failing grade, and bad life choices into a positive. LiqOUr!!!!!! WOOOO!!!

The stairwell of the C.I.:

Only drunk girls are running down those stairs. They’re either A.) Too focused on their coochie not poppin’ out, B.) Darting down to throw up real quick before going to The Crystal, or C.) To answer a call from Lindsey, who’s always fucking lost. Needless to say, they’ll be too busy to notice you. Go at it. Also, the sounds of midwestern, suburban Chads rapping 21 Savage will drown out your aching groans.

Right in the middle of Crystal:


Because that place is a fucking mess, and so are you. Really tho, get it together. Put down the beer, keep walking past the Chicken & Waffle, and try to keep your dignity intact. I think your 8 a.m. professor will be pleasantly surprised to see you tomorrow.

Tony’s outside part? Idk what to call it:


Only grads and townies come here. Complete anonymity. Scream! Yell! To the heavens! Unless your TA is there, then LOL.

Jackie O’s:


Don’t cry in Jackie O’s.

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb, hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep, Mackenzie & Andrea. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame:

Continue Reading

More from Ohio University

Advertisement
Advertisement
To Top