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A Semester Abroad* In Nearby Nelsonville, And 4 Other New Study Abroad Programs You Should Consider

Studying abroad can give you the chance to set yourself apart from your peers as you hop outside of your comfort zone and cannonball into a great big pool of student debt. Let’s have a look at these brand-new programs offered by Ohio University study abroad program. 

5.) Cultural anthropology in Canada:
How’s aboot you take eh trip to tha wild wild North, yah hoser! Although you’ll be imprisoned by this dry, asphalt-laden wasteland for two full months, you’ll feel right at home. Study the people of this foreign land and assimilate yourself into their strange culture. Sample the cheese curds! Hunt the wild Avril Lavigne! Now get up off your chesterfield (couch in Canadish) and pay that early enrollment fee, ‘cuz you’re about to take a two-hour flight to a b s o l u t e l y n o w h e r e.

4.) Media studies in Japan (winter break):
Do you obsessively watch anime (sans-dubbing) as you down a few cans of Red Bull while masturbating to your favorite hentai Reddit page? Ohio University study abroad has the perfect solution for that vacant “manga-stare” with… a trip to the promised land! Your class will have all-access tours at the studios of legendary Japanese directors such as Hayao Miyazaki, Makoto Shinkai, and the lead animation studio that brought you 非常に美しい野菜! This program will also give you the chance to walk through whimsical cherry blossom groves that make OU’s trees look like chicken shit; try some authentic sushi that will make Ginger taste like chicken shit; and be a part of the live-audience TV game show, “家禽の糞”(coincidentally, all about chicken shit)!

3.) Learn Spanish in Uruguay:
Half the world is already willing to learn English anyways, right? Why should we have to study Spanish and all of those tenses when an underprivileged Peruvian youth has nearly memorized all of the state capitals by the age of four? In Spanish, “an umbrella” is masculine (un paraguas). Excuse me, but last time we checked, umbrellas don’t got no dick hidden in there. Besides, gender is a CONSTRUCT. This is a progressing world we are living in, people. But the weed is totally legal in Uruguay, so consider heading here. 

2.) A summer semester in historical Nelsonville, Ohio:
If you’re looking for an inexpensive study abroad* program, this’ll do. Did you know famous celebrity actress, Sarah Jessica Parker, was born in Nelsonville? Uhhh, what else…Stuart’s Opera House, the Rocky Boots Outlet…either Nelsonville’s Wikipedia page is lacking some important historical landmark information, or this place is dull as hell. Maybe consider that Uruguay trip instead.

1.) Tactical maneuver and defense in Syria (ROTC):
You should have seen the tri-fold poster the ROTC had set up at the Study Abroad Fair. Truly disturbing. Unsettling clip-art aside, here’s what they wanted me to tell you: “Leadership. Excellence. What do these words me to you? To us, they mean ROTC. In Syria, you’ll get all the training you need to be a leader, a truly EXCELLENT, firearm-toting, camouflage-clad leader. This is what you need to feel alive..?” Ok. That was cryptic af. God help us. 

Class sizes are limited. Don’t wait! Sign up NOW!

*Well, it isn’t technically abroad, per se, but you could tell your future employers that you took a trip to a third-world country.

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb, hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep, Mackenzie & Andrea. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame:

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