QUIZ: Will You Finally Sleep With That Guy From Never Shout Never?

News broke Wednesday that this year’s UPC TBT concert will headline Never Shout Never, AKA that little man with the ukulele that awakened you sexually when you were about 13. Let’s think about your 13-year-old self: You never achieved the perfect minimalist MySpace profile layout, you never learned how to do a decent winged eyeliner, and you never even met a vampire. Well, now’s your chance to finally earn the respect of you at 13. Will you finally do right by your 13-year-old self by sleeping with that guy from Never Shout Never while he’s in Athens for the concert?

You’re heading to the library to do some studying, when suddenly you see a large tour bus pull up beside you. It’s definitely that guy from Never Shout Never! You wonder idly why such a small man with such a small guitar would ever need such a large tour bus. What do you do?

Knock on the door

Peer in through the window

Correct!

Wrong!

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There you are, standing outside this massive tour bus, when out comes the lil man himself: the Never Shout Never guy. He flips his hair out of his eyes and his gaze meets yours. You:

Shout “Hey! You’re that little man that awakened me sexually from my iPod Nano when I was 13!”

Shout “Never!”

Correct!

Wrong!

-

The Never Shout Never guy does a breathy laugh and says, “Hey, who are you?” You respond:

“I’m just an average student here, and I’m mostly ambivalent toward you now, but it would mean a lot to my 13-year-old self if we could please have sex on your bus.”

Shout “Never!”

Correct!

Wrong!

-

He flips his hair and starts picking his ukulele absentmindedly. He laughs and there’s a glimmer in the one eye you can see. “You’re funny. I’ve been looking for a girl like you. Would you like free tickets to my show tonight?” You respond:

"Wow, you mean it? Thanks! You’re the coolest."

But isn’t it a free show in the first place…?

Correct!

Wrong!

-

“Yeah, of course,” says the Never Shout Never Guy. “Hey, can I get your number in case you want to meet up after? You’re pretty cool to talk to.” You respond:

You give him your number but you also shout “Never!” in case he didn’t get the joke the first two times.

“Sure, but my 13-year-old self would have liked to do more than just talk if you know what I mean.”

Correct!

Wrong!

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You’re at the TBT concert and the Never Shout Never guy is looking even smaller up on that stage. What did you wear to the show?

My usual evening attire

Fresh new bangs, baby

Correct!

Wrong!

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The show’s over and you hear your phone buzz. It’s the Never Shout Never guy! He sings, “I'm in trouble I'm an addict / I'm addicted to this girl / She's got my heart tied in a knot / And my stomach in a whirl / But even worse I can't stop calling her / She's all I want and more / I mean damn, / What's not to adore?” You respond:

“If you call this number again, I’m calling the police!”

“I am ready to have sex now.”

Correct!

Wrong!

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Bonus! What is the Never Shout Never guy’s real name?

Christopher Dr3w

Christofer Drew

Correct!

Wrong!

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Will you do right by your 13-year-old self by finally sleeping with that guy from NeverShoutNever? %%personality%%

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