Spring semester is officially underway, which also marks the end of homecooked meals, a warm bed, and being able to spend as much time as you want in a shower. Unfortunately, it’s back to the grind. Everything is resetting, and with this reboot also comes the infamous syllabus week. In less than a week’s time, you’ll go from being forced to stand up in class and say one interesting thing about yourself to having a six-page paper about something really complicated that was due yesterday. Use our syllabus week drinking game to take shots and cure the agony.
5.) Every time a professor makes a reference to the course being “fun” and “exciting,” take a shot:
Oh yes, one of the greatest lies your instructor will tell you. The irony in the whole idea of this lie is that not only are they lying to you, they are lying to themselves as well. What kind of sadistic individual can actually say that quantum physics is “fun” or “exciting”? You might want to cheat and take two for this one. Strap in, this is going to be a long course.
4.) Every time the professor asks if anyone has any questions, take three shots:
The answer is very simple to this very intricate and puzzling question: no. That will always be the answer. We don’t care.
3.) Every time the professor says the word “syllabus,” take a shot:
We were thinking of adding more shots to this one, but you’ll hear this word enough that your own safety will become a concern. One shot per will do enough damage, that’s a promise.
2.) Every time the professor starts a lesson on the first day of class, shotgun a 4 Loko:
Wow, this is something you wouldn’t wish upon your worst enemy. It’s like getting early access to self-torture. First off, you’re not paying attention, and there’s a pretty decent chance you don’t even know what class you’re in. No, you don’t have the book. This whole idea is sneaky and ruthless. Take the 4 Loko and don’t look back.
1.) Every time the professor makes the class do an icebreaker game, take two shots:
Great, elementary school all over again. When will this stop? When will they realize that we’re in college? The answer to that is probably never. So, you have no choice but to participate and learn about how Jake’s favorite cereal is Boo-berry. Whatever pride you had left from previous semesters has once again been sucked out of you, as you reluctantly share a detail about yourself to the rest of the class.
Drunk yet? We heard we’re a great drinking buddy.