All of you stumbling and struggling Cowboys have found the right article. Those pesky bars stole all of your cash and now you’re all kinds of hungry. Not to worry, here are five places on The Strip that you can ball on a budget, and get full, for under $3.
5.) Coney Island:
Coney Island is always open, cheap and greasy, and that’s just talking about the people inside. Everything you need after your drunken adventures is within your budget. Everything on the menu, with the exception of the $3.99 kid’s meals, some Frito pies for $3.79 max and the $3.99 Deluxe Fried Onion Only Eaten in a Drunken Challenge from Your Friend Cheeseburger, is listed under $3 and ready to be consumed. Even with an extra dollar of chump change, you can get anything on the menu.
4.) The Curty Shack:
Here at the longest line for the shortest reward, you can munch on a plain dog for $3.00. Any extra toppings may hinder your summer bod, so the ol’ Curty is really just looking out for you, although the cheese pizza, french fries, and tater tots all being $3.00 aren’t doing you any favors. Plus, the place is happening with whatever a drunken imagination can conjure, so you’re getting dinner and a show.
3.) Fuzzy’s Taco Shop:
Only a few have figured this out, but the chips are bottomless. Not because it’s advertised that way, but because the workers are too dumb to realize how many times you’ve been up there for chip refills. So, you can get your $1.99 worth and keep on stuffing your face. Another good option the Baja tacos at $2.99. And if you’re feeling really frisky, you can swing by to get you a hot and steamy bowl of Baja Tortilla Soup for $2.99.
2.) Insomnia Cookies:
If you can’t get some sugar from the guy or gal you’ve been crushing on, Insomnia has something for you. Everyone’s been to, or ordered from, Insomnia a few more times than they’re proud to say, and it’s probably not okay. It’s the main reason treadmills are littered with babes at The Colvin. Although diabetes-inducing sandwiches aren’t quite under $3, you can still get a traditional cookie for $1.45 or a deluxe cookie for $2.95. The chocolate chip brownies are never a bad idea either, especially not at $2.95 a piece…before tax, of course.
This restaurant is the culinary equivalent of a Dirty Sanchez. It’s a gross environment with decent food, but it’s a cheap, drunken, dream. The entirety of the menu is salty and greasy, just like the staff, so the high probability that a 12-year-old could purchase alcohol in this place isn’t much of a shock. Let’s just say the ID checks aren’t the most thorough in the world…but, hey, it’s the thought that counts, right? Nothing says Mexican food like microwave queso and store-bought guacamole for $2.59 each. And for that one person whom likes guacamole salad, they have that too, $2.99. Although, for a restaurant whose web domain is MexicanRestarauntInStillwaterOK.com you can’t expect bangin’ guac.
Luckily for all you liquor-logged, slurring, students, the Strip is only a hop, skip and stumbling crash away…or a short Uber ride for all you smarties out there. Now, go eat those drunken, slobbering feelings away.
Done reading? Time to listen to our podcast: Booze Before Noon!