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Edmon Low Study Snacks, and What They Mean

 

Cowboys and Cowgirls spend time cramming in study hours with droopy eyes and exhausted minds before we meet our maker. To conquer these side effects of the Edmon Low, food is a must. In the delusional state we all eventually get to, stuffing your face becomes the only option to be able to press onward. The only question then is: “What will I be stuffing my face with today?” If you want to know what your choice of fuel says about you, here’s a quick list.

 

Gum:

You’re a saint if you bring gum. Since Café Libro has the weirdest business hours, chances are “friends” will come out of the woodwork to sit next to you if they merely catch a glimpse of the spearmint treats you happened to have brought. “Hey uh… so can I have a piece?” will be asked shortly after someone sits by you, even if they aren’t studying the same subject at you.      

 

Cheetos:

 

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Yes, these are a delectable snack sought after by children ages 5-10. After that, you’re just that person getting that disgusting cheesy residue on EVERY educational tool you have brought to Edmon Low. Have fun with those sticky textbook pages and safety orange keyboard.

 

Corn Nuts:

STAY OFF OF THE 5TH FLOOR. It’s supposed to be quiet for a reason, and bringing these loud babies creates an atmosphere so noisy the Cowboy Band wouldn’t even be used to it.

 

Hummus Dip:

 

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If you’re asking: no, no one wants to sit with you. The smell alone of this healthy concoction could kill Pistol Pete himself; and if you know the history of that guy, he was kind of a badass. For some reason Café Libro has an odd abundance of this stuff. From “Toasted Red Pepper” to “Roasted Garlic” they are all equally repulsive to the group we’re studying with.

 

Red Bull:

Alright, this isn’t a snack by itself ,but you’ll see this heart attack of a beverage accompanying any of the actual snacks on this list. 90% of Edmon Low has this taurine-ridden mess either in their backpack or already in their stomach. Although this energy drink doesn’t affect the people studying around you, it sure as hell is affecting the person drinking it. Even if they’ve already drank it and throw the can away, you can always tell a Red Bull consumer by the jittery hands, paranoid eye movement, and unfocused behavior.

 

Jimmy John’s:

Don’t want to move to get your fix of nutrition? Want to be the asshole that makes some poor soul deliver your food to you? Perfect! Order Jimmy John’s! Your first thought might be: “Oh, it’s right on The Strip. It isn’t THAT far!” Wrong. That delivery boy you’ve requested has a thousand different stops to make all around Stilly, America. Get your own food.

 

Papa John’s:

Pray for these people. These unfortunate, late-night crammers have either given up hope and are accepting Edmon Low as their new home or have decided to study for the next 48 hours.

 

Whatever you do, you’re bound to need a snack while Edmon Low begins to consume your life. Here at The Black Sheep, we just wanted to let you know what your choice of “nutrition” means about you and your situation.

 

 

 

 

When did college apartments become nicer than our parents’ houses?

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