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What OSU Buildings Would Be If They Were People

As soon as you step on OkState’s campus you can tell our buildings have a lot of… personality. It’s almost as if you can tell which ones the school cares most about,  some get new lit additions, while others get horses in front to cover its hideous exterior.  So what better way to get over being salty than by judging these buildings as if they were people?

 

Noble Research Center:

When entering this sci-fi rock forest, you turn the corner to plastic-looking plants and metal bug art the size of a bedframe. The Noble Research Center is a marijuana growing, 40-year-old creepy man who breeds bugs and is currently working on learning how to speak fluent wasp, because the flies started to get a little too boring.

 

Business Building:

So, this is the new one being built because the original one wasn’t good enough for OSU. The business building is like the first girl in your friend group who got plastic surgery because her nose was slightly too crooked. The university did this with hopes this will seductively bring more guys to the remodeled building. After all, guys want buildings to be adjusted in just the right spots.

 

Architecture Building:

This is a guy from the hipster squad“Can you believe Gundersen hasn’t gotten new windows yet?” is just one of the petty comments in this building’s arsenal.

 

The Engineering Building:

The too-smart-for-you, but-still-desperately–wants-your-attention bitch. She’s always decked out in sorority gear to make it known she pays for her friends, because no one would do it for free since she judges every little thing on other people’s work.

 

Edmond Low Library:

It’s the local, know-it-all, chunky Boy Scout who constantly drools when he gets going off the knowledge he gains. His fantasies include raiding dungeons with his online friends and finding a girl who loves calculus just as much as he does.

 

Old Central:

Home of the smarty-pants, no one represents Old Central more than an A-One classy British bitch that walks around with her Persian cat on a tight, bright orange leash. It’s said that Old Central is nice-looking on the inside, but we just don’t care.   

 

Kerr/ Drummond:

The ancient buildings have a little too much in common from the twins in The Shining. Everything looks Gucci from the outside, but the inside is straight-up sketchy shit. The elevators stop working, lights go out and the showers always smell like an active sewage pipe broke in half. Pick your poison when moving into a dorm at OSU Before you know it, you can’t sleep at night because of the common occurrence of spooky events.

 

Boone Pickens Stadium:

The main attraction at OSU: the center of attention, intoxicated chick that is pleasing to the eyes. Draws you in with the bubbly personality, but after a few drinks she’ll turn into the mentally unstable, obnoxiously loud girl you don’t want to talk to at a party.

 

OSU’s buildings, if they were people, would make for a pretty interesting Twitter fight. Here in little ol’ Stillwater, the buildings might look a little rough or “out there,” but Pistol Pete would interject to say, “the odder the better as long as it isn’t crimson.”

Something so bad, 12 beers later, is so, so good.

 
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