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Ranking The Sexiness Of OSU Basketball Players By Their Names Only

 

That’s right, it’s that time of year we nudge football over to the side because it’s basketball season here in Stillwater. On this week’s edition of The Black Sheep, we’ll introduce you to the team. We have our very own, well-spoken female to rate these basketball stars by their names only, not their actual sexiness. So, without further ado, bring out the boys.

 

carroll_jeffrey

Jeffrey Carroll #30

Rating: -2/10

Son, why do you have two first names that could pass as our grandfather’s best friends?

 

dziagwa_thomas

Thomas Dziagwa #4

Rating: 0/10

Dizwawawhata? If you cant pronounce the name, hella turn off because what girl is going to want that as their last name, too.

 

mcgriff_cameron

Cameron McGriff #12

Rating: 2/10

Oh boy, the only first impression girls are going to be happy with is his above-average height. Just imagine “coming down the court, McGriff drains a 3.” It doesn’t speak sexy to us.

 

waters_lindy

Lindy Waters III #21

Rating: 2.34/10

On behalf of The Black Sheep, we’re sorry, it appears that you have a girl’s name.  Also what is with this “III” trend? Stop that, it died decades ago when the first of you was born.

 

lienhard_will

Will Lienhard #34

Rating: 3/10

Will we “lie hard” that this name is sexy? Yes. Yes we will.

 

forte_phil

Phil Forte III #13

Rating: 4/10

Forte, we love ya on the court with your deep shots, but your name isn’t helping you score with the ladies. You sound like a trust fund baby.

 

nguessan_lucas

Lucas N’Guessan #32

Rating: 5/10

Well, we are gonna “N’Guessan” this name might scare away the ladies.

 

averette_brandon

Brandon Averette #22

Rating: 6/10

The last name sounds like some kind of vinaigrette you put on a salad, so if you’re into the fitness lifestyle, the name could be a turn-on.

 

shine_tavarius

Tavarius Shine #5

Rating: 6/10

Ok, we like this name because it’s mysterious. It makes the girl think, “What kind of dinosaur is he?” Well, he’s a shiny one.

 

underwood_tyler

Tyler Underwood #32

Rating: 7.5/10

This is an example of a basic but sexy name. It’s like the simplicity of a common name that shows success rate. Have you ever run into an ugly Tyler? Didn’t think so.

 

evans_jawun

Jawun Evans #1

Rating: 8/10

Is he a new kind of superhero? We can see his name beaming across the sky to rescue the Cowboys’ record.

 

solomon_mitch

Mitchell Solomon #41

Rating: 8/10

The last name has us back and forth on feelings, like are you Jamaican? You want to be a solo man? Are you single? Just asking for some deets.

 

hammonds_leyton

Leyton Hammonds #23

Rating: 9/10

Finally, a simple normal name with a sprinkle of sexy.

 

reeves_trey

Trey Reeves #33

Rating: 9/10

More like Reese’s the yummy chocolate peanut butter cups. If he looks anything like the way his name sounds, your momma will be proud you brought him home.

 

dillard_davon

Davon Dillard #24

Rating: 10/10

Just pronouncing the first name gets the lady engines humming. Then smack them with that alliteration, boy. *The Black Sheep approval stamp*Head

 

brad-underwood

Coach Brad Underwood

Rating: 11/10

With that kind of name, we wonder if you were a country singer in a past life and that led you to the beloved Cowboys’ basketball team. Whatever the reason is, we like the ring of that name.

 

Luckily for Oklahoma State’s basketball team, it is a totally legal move to change your name. Our female analyst would like to add “if this was based off looks, they can ball with her any day,” she also asked if Phil Forte could give her a call.

 
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