If you are an Ole Miss student who’s unfamiliar with the Facebook phenomenon known as “Oxford Resale”, get your head out of your ass and wake up. This Craigslist-esque platform allows for students and functioning adults alike to get rid of that extra clutter around the house. It also makes for some pretty absurd posts. Here are a few of the most bizarre items that we found on Oxford Resale:
5.) Pants that scream ‘HEY, I live in Mississippi’:
Well this pretty much speaks for itself. If you’re from out of state and you come to Mississippi for the first time, this is what you should expect from a website like this (so for the locals, maybe not so bizarre). The best part is that somebody will actually buy and wear these used camo pants, guaranteed. All you can do is hope they’re wearing them hunting, not to class, and please God not to the bars.
4.) A breathtaking Asian vase, perfect for your dorm decor:
Look, we’re not out here trying to act holier-than-thou, but please admit that it’s a tad bit white trash to compare the size of your vase to a can of likely warm Yuengling Light. The vase is actually pretty nice, it’s the Yuengling that’s an interesting choice. Were they out of PBR? No Busch? Is it authentic? Is the beer included? The photo just leaves you with too many questions.
3.) Sketchy internet shrimp:
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more Mississippi than the camo pants, we give you: online shrimp vendors. You order pizza online so why not your favorite seafood? Maybe it’s the platform that’s a bit daunting. It’s pretty bold to bootleg shrimp on a public sales page. On the other hand, it looks like some damn good seasoning and the price ain’t bad. Seems like some solid game day grub if anything.
2.) Whatever this thing is:
Is it the year 2006? What the fuck is this thing? You could find equipment in your extremely underfunded high school weight room that’s nicer than this ancient piece of shit. The sad thing is this thing might fit in perfectly in the not so state-of-the-art Turner Center on campus. Really, you’re just wondering, who’s gonna drive all the way to Ponotoc to buy a ten-dollar exercise machine? Half the population in Oxford barely has ten dollars.
1.) A great time until someone breaks their neck:
Alright, it’s understandable what the seller is trying to do, but posting this in a place where a bunch of college kids can see it is a major hazard. By saying ages ten and under and no more than two kids at a time, you’re essentially encouraging rowdy, drunk Ole Miss students to buy this and attempt to prove you wrong. It’s not your fault (you can’t control the drunks), but you’d hate to have gruesome injuries to vital organs on your conscience. Stick with Craigslist next time.
By now you’re either heading to the resale page to see more of this bullshit, or you’re going to buy one of these irresistible items. Hurry up, they’re going fast!
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