If you’re lonely and want to turn things around this school year then look no further. Seriously, don’t stop looking right here. DON’T LEAVE. We know just how to use our silver tongues to get you the boo thang you didn’t even realize you were lusting after. So go out and use these sweet li’l’ somethin’ somethins’ to get a date, or maybe even just laid. We don’t judge. Feel free to adapt this to your own skill set, or lack thereof and definitely don’t be afraid to throw in a flirty wink with any of these, killer.
“I don’t need a protractor to bend you at the right angle.”
This would work pretty well in a math class. Plus, then you’ll know the person of interest is at least kinda smart. Well, maybe. At least she can get a little freaky with numbers and we all know how sexy numbers are. Yeah, we’re looking right at you 5.
“Want to get together and study anatomy using the Braille system?”
This would be great for any of you pre-med hotties out there, assuming you still remember what free time and socializing are. On the other hand though if you’re pre-med and can’t at least score a potential gold digger, then maybe you’re beyond our help.
“Hey girl, are you a land shark? ‘Cause you got my fin up.”
Now this is more advanced. Obviously, this is going to produce maximum results, so only use this if you’re wanting something long-term. This would work on someone oozing with Rebel pride, like a cheerleader or Chick-fil-A employee.
“That Grove dress is great, but I think you could use a pearl necklace.”
This is for those elegant Oxford women that are only seen with ballers. She’ll be so excited that you complimented her outfit that she slaps you. A slap of seduction, that is.
“I’d love to hear your sounds to my fury.”
For those literature buffs out there, give this one a try. If you want that hip, bookish type this is bound to work. Together you can reenact weird things you get off Avatar: The Last Airbender fan fic, you big weirdos.
“Damn girl is your name Sally McDonnell-Barksdale, because I would be honored to get into your building.”
So, this could be perfect to use on a freshman. The names of all the buildings are fresh in their minds, and odds are they want acceptance. It can be from anyone or anywhere, just please accept them and love them. They really miss their parents. Fingers crossed they live in a coed dorm.
There you have it, the key to finding true love. We’d say there’s a 100% success rate, but we have no way of knowing that. Besides, we all know women play hard to get. That’s why they may look offended and walk away at first. If these worked for you then let us know. Please, please let us know.