Everyone knows that one sophomore guy with an adorable, four-month-old puppy. For story telling purposes we’ll call him Paul. Paul often flaunts his puppy, Buddy, around campus, outdoor bars, and just about any event where girls are likely to attend. Paul’s doing great. In the time you spent reading this, Paul got six girls’ numbers who said they wanted to come over and play with him later. So why doesn’t every college student do what Paul did, and get a puppy? Here’s why you should:
5.) There is no better place to raise a dog:
College students have a lot of love for puppies for two main reasons: 1.) Whoever doesn’t love puppies probably worships Satan, and 2.) because they miss the precious, loyal dogs they left behind at their parents’ house. Jenna, your strictly in-class friend, who after seeing your laptop screensaver has now texted you five times to come over and meet the pup. You had five really good excuses, but with the sixth text, Jenna wins. You cannot imagine a better support system.
4.) You’re definitely helping the economy. Yeah, definitely:
It’s common knowledge that college kids have an infinite supply of money. It’s difficult to have more money than you know what to do with, and we can all relate to that. If you buy a puppy, not only will you instantly get rid of the first couple hundred dollars to make Buddy officially yours, but you’ll get to pay all the fees and extra expenses for the happy years to come. Problem solved.
3.) Puppies are cute as shit:
Princess, the Golden Retriever pup is prancing around the ten by ten yard that your apartment complex dedicated as an exquisite pet area (much better known as the small patch of grass covered in crap). In this moment, Princess couldn’t look any cuter so you’re Snapchatting her every move. Next thing you know, Becky from apartment 4309 is bending down to pet the little angel. This is all very exciting, so Princess pounces on Becky, leaving her with scrapes covering her thighs and pee dripping down her legs.
2.) It’s good for the soul:
Training a puppy is so goddamn easy. If you pick the right one, it’ll do whatever you say, the first time you say it. This small amount of effort, helps you grow exponentially as a person. However, if your pup doesn’t cooperate after two or three times max, they’re broken and you need to return them immediately. If this happens to you don’t worry, it’s very common. The breeder will be entirely understanding of the situation if you calmly explain it to them.
1.) Your parents will love it:
Your parents are so happy when you come home (for about the first two and a half days). Why not make them even happier with the addition of a furry friend? No, not just a friend; family. The bigger, the better. The more it sheds, the better. Your parents may have not said it out loud, but they’re silently begging for you to bring a dog home on Thanksgiving break. In the rare event that they aren’t thrilled and don’t allow it, you get to remain independent and not go home. Refrigerators with food in it are overrated anyway.
Now that you have all the facts, there really isn’t anything holding you back. Rumor has it, the Humane Society accepts fake IDs, so you can save a pup and avoid any unnecessary parental contact.
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