People definitely make assumptions about you when you say that you’re from Oxford or go to Ole Miss. Now, whether they assume you’re well-educated and can drink 17 PBRs a night or you’re a racist hatemonger is up to you and your life choices, but the fact that people have such strong opinions about our town puts swagger in our step. We’ve got it all: a bar scene that doesn’t quit, babes, riot police horses, Eli Manning, babes, and now we have (dusts shoulder off) the SECOND LARGEST ROUNDABOUT in the state of Mississippi. Take it in, it’s a lot. Undoubtedly this fantastic piece of concrete raises our coolness way above any other college town in the state, but what does it really say about us as a town and a school?
Stacks on Deck: These slick new circles were no gift from the traffic gods. No sir, even with a generous $500,000 from MDOT, it was still going to cost the city a pretty penny, and we’re not talking flip night. The roundabouts on South Lamar cost over a million dollars, so you can imagine the tab ol’ Patty Patterson was stuck with. But is anyone worried? Nope. Oxford, MS averages 20 DUI arrests a week! The local government has money to blow.
Too Cool for Traffic: Let’s face it, Old Taylor Road this time last year sucked black bear ball sack. Even if you lived at Turnberry Condos you had better leave an hour and a half early to even attempt to get near a parking lot before it was full. Students who lived in the Mark were missing weeks of class because of the never-ending traffic. This quick answer to a population problem is a sure sign of coolness. Who doesn’t like to wait? Cool people.
Boobs Matter: MDOT may have funded them, but the good brothers on fraternity row designed the wonderful artwork on Old Taylor. Hidden in the form of modest roundabouts, if viewed from above, you will see true beauty of the traffic-minimizing roadwork. Perfectly symmetrical, beautiful middles, soft round edges, the roundabouts would look perfect dressed in a romper with a vodka-Diet Coke in the Grove: a true monument to the goddesses of Oxford.
We Like A Challenge: We don’t know if you have been on these things, but it is two lanes of pure mindfuck. There are lines everywhere! It looks like a Friday night at the Pike house. Does this mean that the students and citizens of Oxford are just going to give up? Hell no! Pick a lane and stay in it on these babies, when in doubt just keep on driving, what goes around comes back around, including your Altima.
At face value Oxford is nothing more than home to a highly intoxicated student body, but we’re a town of doers. Outlaw beer on Sunday? Let’s do it. Make it legal again? Sure. Bring Aaron Carter to Proud Larry’s? Bring it on. Build the second biggest roundabout in Mississippi to make it easier for students to get to class and for people to get hammered in the Grove? You better believe it. The fact is, Oxford can do anything it sets its mind to.