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UO Student Diagnosed With F.O.M.O. After Missing Both Shasta and Sasquatch

Monday, UO junior, Miranda Booker checked herself into the UO Health Center with some alarming symptoms associated with the social disease, called fear of missing out, otherwise known as F.O.M.O. The symptoms reported were prolonged periods of sadness after scrolling through Instagram, neglecting Snapchat, and attending/throwing Shasta and Sasquatch themed parties.

Her symptoms arose early last week when students traveling to south to Lake Shasta. Seeing the Snapchats and Instagram pictures throughout the weekend are the source of the infection. Once the disease develops further when friends return and start to tell stories of their adventures.

“I chose Sasquatch over Shasta this year, but at the last minute I sold my ticket because Frank Ocean pulled out, and I didn’t think it was worth it anymore.” said Miranda. “Then I started receiving snaps from my friends who still went, and that’s when I knew something was wrong with me. At one point, I even put on an outfit I had planned for one of the festival days and cried in my living room while blasting “The Head and the Heart.””

After Miranda was diagnosed, six more students were reported checking into the health center with similar symptoms and receiving the same diagnosis.

“I consistently begged my parents for the money to attend at least one of the events,” reported another student who wasn’t able to attend either event. “But they just laughed and said something about how they’re providing me with an education.”

While the Health Center has no medication to prescribe those afftected, it has been noted that  distractions such as dayging, to make the fear go away.

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