Penn State’s campus is evolving right before our eyes. We would like to take a moment of silence in remembrance of former campus attractions: The Big Onion, the sand volleyball court, Skeller, and of course the stickies at Ye Old Diner. R.I.P. fam, R.I.P. Here are some things that should have left before these fallen favorites:
5.) The Shrine’s ear:
This past State Paddy’s Day (and just in time for your grad pics), the Shrine lost his poor ear AGAIN. We can all agree that the rushed repair is a real eyesore, and honestly they should’ve just removed the other one to even things out.
4.) Old Main:
Old Main, the crumbling, outdated building NEEDS to go. This location would be perfect for showcasing the slowly growing table tennis team. We’re hopeful that with a new state of the art facility, Penn State will not only be B1G and NCAA champs, but also Olympic hopefuls.
3.) The Visual Arts and Borland Building:
The arts at Penn State are actually not important. At all. Currently both buildings hold studios for finger painting, pinch pot making, spaghetti portraits, and Microsoft Paint labs. The university has no need for “arts and crafts” when the area could be used for something with more potential. Maybe some more dorms in North Halls to squeeze in all the poor souls still living on campus.
2.) Westgate’s Au Bon Pain:
Who knew that there was a 3rd ABP on campus? Certainly not most of the student population. The only thing that ABP has going for it is its overpriced, made-to-order sandwiches, and bitter watered-down coffee. You know what would be better for Westgate? Another Starbucks. A McAlisters perhaps? Literally anything but this place and all its crusty bread.
This building is scheduled for demolition in December 2018, so sounds like Penn State’s doing something good for once. This is not the most polite way to get the Willard preacher to leave, but you know what? Fuck that guy, he’s annoying.
What’s next for Penn State? The tennis and IM fields by the Nat and Wagner building? Perhaps the arts cottages for more greenhouse space? We don’t know, but what we do know is that your tuition dollars are probably paying for it.
And without further ado, we give you A VINE POWER HOUR.