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A Penn State Freshmen Guide to Downtown State College

So you’re one of the many Penn State freshmen that just moved into this middle of nowhere town with every intention to test their drinking limits, Shit on Pitt, and, oh yeah, get a degree. As you’ll soon learn, State College is more than just farms and football. The Black Sheep has you covered with pro-tips to hitting up Downtown like a true Penn Stater. 

There’s a ton of reasons to love this coffee spot, but let’s face it: at some point, you’ll be here for a Tinder date. Conveniently placed on College Ave, Irving’s provides an easy escape from said date to your on-campus dorm across the street. If the date actually goes well, there are those couches in the basement…

Tavern Pig:
You might have been walking down College Ave during NSO and wondered about the random pig next to The Tavern Restaurant. Why the pig is there isn’t important; you should be more concerned about the golden showers it’s received from drunk Penn Staters. Hey, all that jungle juice has to go somewhere, just don’t touch the pig.

The Corner Room:
It’s a State College staple. We’re willing to bet that most of the time when you end up here, your parents came to visit and you needed some place to take them. When Parents’ Weekend rolls around and you’re searching for something to occupy them with, The Corner Room has you covered.

It’s not really a guide to downtown without Canyon. Typically, when people are willing to stand in a line that extends out the door of the establishment, it’s a testament to the quality of the food being served.  Canyon is different. You’re not there for the pizza. You’re there for the experience: drunkenly standing in a line with your equally inebriated peers for pizza whose quality is directly correlated to the amount of drinks you’ve had that night.

You’re almost definitely here because you need thot clothes. Never mind the fact that you’re broke after buying them, and they’ll smell like Natty Light after one night out; you’ll still want to buy that lacy bodysuit anyway. 

If you’re a male that shops here, you’re in a fraternity. The clothes at Harper’s perfectly fit that frat guy stereotype: Vineyard Vines and khakis. You might not be able to rush this fall, but you can still look the part with Harper’s help. 

Are U Hungry:
Sure, Are U Hungry is one of many Downtown spots to get greasy food late at night, but this one is different. There’s something immensely satisfying about walking up to a counter and asking for a “Fat Bitch” or a “Fat Blunt.” Plus, you can proudly walk around with an “I heart fat bitches” shirt if your heart so desires to buy one.   

Waffle Shop:
You know something’s good when hungover college students will wait outside for it on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Waffles topped with various forms of sugar mix super well with the greasy Canyon you ate the night before, putting you in a perfect state for a nap once you’re done. 

Congratulations! You’re now prepared for your future ventures downtown.  Leave your lanyard in your dorm and you might actually pass for an experienced Penn Stater.

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