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PSU Freshman Murdered For Boarding Back Door of Cata Bus


Two upperclassmen, James Nash and Elizabeth Stetson, are being hailed as heroes after murdering PSU freshman Louise Eckert when he boarded the Blue Loop Cata Bus through the back door.


Reports indicate that Louise Eckert attempted to enter the Cata bus from the back door at approximately 1:30 p.m. Recognizing the clear and present threat imposed by this blatant disregard for human life, the two brave students acted swiftly and forcefully.


“When I saw him waiting outside as the bus I knew something was off. Then I saw him heading to the back door of the bus instead of the front door. At that point instincts took over. I tried to incapacitate him before he could hurt anyone else, so I grabbed him by the shirt and slammed him against the side of the bus,” said a clearly shaken James Nash.


Then, Elizabeth Stetson courageously put her life on the line. She ran over to the Eckert held against the wall and slit Eckert’s throat with a keychain Swiss Army knife. “My dad got me the pocket knife in case I’m every walking alone at night and someone attacks me. He’s a paranoid guy, but it turns out he’s right. Who thought I’d encounter a sicko like this kid.”


Others on the bus were extremely thankful towards their two peers. John Reed, a sophomore in electrical engineering commented, “My heart dropped when I saw him step on the back of that bus. I really thought that was the end for a second. Thankfully, God sent down two guardian angels to protect me.”


Family members and friends of Eckert were shocked when they learned of this darker side of him.


“He always seemed like a normal kid. He didn’t talk much but he was the type of kid who would never hurt a fly. Just goes to show you that you never know a person’s true colors,” said his now former RA Jessie Heartfeldt.


This incident has led to calls for the dean to increase security on Cata buses. Some suggestions include arming the bus drivers and installing spikes to cut off the legs of those trying to enter the bus from the wrong entrance.


Later this week, the two Penn State students will be visiting the White House to discuss this pressing issue with President Barrack Obama.



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