As Pitt midterms have come and gone, we have all come to face our deepest and darkest fears and gotten to know ourselves and how we handle a crisis. But now that we’re done, and we’ve had our Halloweekend fun, maybe its time to take stock and find out where we’re at in the grand scheme of things. Is your personal life ok? No, but it wasn’t ok before the school year started either so that’s not surprising. Are you in better shape now than you were before? No, you told yourself you’d get in shape and now you’re having trouble crossing Fifth without breathing heavy on the other side. What about your grades? Well, after midterms, there are a couple different places you could be at right now…
4.) Morbid pessimism:
You didn’t do well on any of your midterms, or maybe just the one you needed to do well on, and you think your life is over. A lot of us know this feeling. You feel like you just can’t get an A anymore and you’re beating yourself up over it. You’re calling yourself stupid, calling your friends crying, and telling yourself you won’t amount to anything. Because 20 years from now you’re going to be sitting in a jail, smuggling drugs in up your butt, and you’ll be able to look back at this specific exam as the critical crossroad you came to in life where you decided this is what you’d become.
3.) Completely unfounded optimism:
Ok, so you just got a 5% on your first chem exam, and yet you’re not worried because you get to drop an exam! It was just bad luck, you’ll get ’em next time right? Except the fact that you got 1 out of every 20 points available on an exam in a subject that isn’t known for getting easier as you progress through college. This raises serious doubts about your future prospects in said subject without some major changes to your approach. But, you know what, you get to drop one of your exams, so who really cares, right?
2.) Worrying about nothing:
Did you get an A on every midterm you took? And your friends are congratulating you and actually praising you? Yet, you deflect it because you’re uncomfortable being complimented and legitimately worried they’re going to jinx the whole thing and you’ll still end up failing? Does this sound familiar? Because some people just can’t seem to be happy with what they’ve got, or done, while the rest of us are out here celebrating the fact that we remembered our PeopleSoft number on our exams. Just be grateful and come out and celebrate with us once in a while!
1.) Cocky but deserves to be:
So you also got an A on every exam you took, but you’re being a MASSIVE douche about it. You didn’t study very much, or you did and just lied about it, and absolutely destroyed every problem your professor put in front of you. Now you feel like you should teach the class, even though every time someone you know asks for help you claim you don’t know how to do it. So now, post-midterms, you’re drinking on Tuesday nights and watching Netflix in class and if you’re a real dick, you’re asking people what they got on their exams hoping they ask you what you got so you can get the satisfaction of listening to even more people kiss your ass.
No matter what type of post-midterm Pitt student you are, we can all agree we’re thankful as fuck that they’re over!