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6 Graphs That Accurately Describe Your Life at Pitt

 

 

After several hours of online STATA tutorials, we at The Black Sheep, using the latest in advanced statistical software constructed this accurate and totally state-of-the-art graphs that capture life at Pitt in pictures.

 

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Tailgating is truly the most enjoyable part of a Pitt football game – hot dogs, shotgunning cheap beers and stumbling around the gravel lot in sandals. But sadly Pitt’s game attendance isn’t something to write home about. The culprit, we can only assume, is the heavy drinking that occurs before the games. The more drinks, the more likely you catch the bus home before kickoff.

 

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The Pete has some killer attractions – most notably air conditioning. But there’s more to it than simply that. Fight your hangover with some Pizza Hut on Sunday morning or fight your freshman fifteen at the gym (or just flex in the mirror, that’s good enough too, right?)

 

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Atwood Street might be famous for this, if only because of its prime drunk food locations, but it happens all over the slum we call home. There’s a strong relationship between the number of drunken frat bros on a South Oakland porch and the strangeness of the heckling and/or cat calling that occurs. MVP for heckling goes out to the bros trying to fight every person that walks by.

 

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Our refined research techniques indicated that most students do, in point of fact, eat food. While we wouldn’t recommend chowing down on solely Market food, or eating a $6 large cheese pizza sober, we understand your reasons.

 

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South Oakland parties are an experience worthy of a feature-length documentary film (maybe from the guy who makes those ones about the national parks, he’s pretty good). We found an interesting relationship between time spent wondering around South Oakland and level of sobriety. The longer you’ve been at a party, the longer you’ve waited in line for a keg that’s tapped the moment you get to it. Can’t wait for that 21st birthday, can you?

 

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Pretty much all day on the Forbes Ave side of the Cathedral a dark and smelly cloud hangs over a crowd of people smoking their cigarettes while you’re just trying to go to class or eat a chicken sandwich. There’s a very special demographic breakdown of these people.

If you can survive a tailgate, you can survive a zombie apocalypse.

 

 

 
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