Ah Cathy, you magnificent, beautiful, towering spectacle of Gothic radiance. It seems like only yesterday that I first laid eyes on you. I was young and naïve, you were older and ready to show me the ropes. You swept me away from the beginning, and I knew you were the one. But our relationship has been strained. Your basement flooded, your rooms got way too hot, and your computer lab renovations were hella stupid. But I never gave up on us, and I want you to know how much you still mean to me. Thankfully, there’s one song that can truly articulate my feelings, and that is “She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5.
6.) “I drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door”:
There’s no parking anywhere, but at least I can illegally stop outside Cathy and just stare at her for a few minutes. Damn, looking fine as always.
5.) “Tap on [your] window, knock on [your] door / I want to make you feel beautiful”:
Yeah, I know there’s a piece of loose-leaf paper scrunched against the doorknob, but maybe the people left and this classroom is free. Screw it, I’m knocking anyway. It’s finals week, I need somewhere to work, and I refuse to go to Posvar. Cathy deserves to feel wanted.
4.) “I don’t mind spending every day / Out on your corner in the pouring rain”:
It rains a lot around here. A lot. Sometimes the rain leaks into the nationality rooms and I can’t get dry whether inside or outside. But it doesn’t matter, Cathy – I’ll brave any weather just to be with you.
3.) “He was always there to help her, she / Always belonged to someone else”:
Cathy, you’ve been there for me when I needed you most, from finding a place to pretend to study, to needing a landmark as I make my way home on a Friday night. I’ll always be here to return the favor, even if you’re the legal property of the University of Pittsburgh. I know you’re really mine, girl.
2.) “It’s not always rainbows and butterflies / It’s compromise that moves us along”:
Remember that day I really wanted some Chic-fil-A nuggets, but the Cathedral Café was closed? That stung, babe. Really stung. But we got through it, which means we can get through anything.
1.) “[I] know all of the things that make you who you are”:
This is why our relationship has stood the test of time. I know that you’re crowded sometimes, that your heating only works in the stairwells, that your windows leak, that your elevators still take forever, and that your bathrooms smell. All those cute little quirks that make you you. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Except better bathrooms.
I hope you realize how much you mean to me, Cathy. Really, you mean a great deal to all of us at Pitt. Even when we bitch and complain about you, it just means we’re cranky and stressed. Our feelings will never truly changed – you will be loved.
Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire.