Thanksgiving break is here. You may have all sorts of great expectations about what you’re going to do over break. Or maybe you just want to stuff your face and sleep all day – it’s really up to you. For those of you out there who dream of catching up on your reading, getting in a little exercise, or even catching up on sleep – you’re probably going to be disappointed. The Black Sheep is here with a list of the six things you’ll totally never accomplish this Thanksgiving break.
You’re probably going to do the opposite of work out this break. You’re going to stuff yourself with free food all weekend. And maybe you’ll have too much pumpkin pie with dinner, but why not? Thanksgiving only comes once a year.
You really meant to keep with that syllabus. But life and apathy got in your way. And now you’ve got a huge paper due on a book you haven’t read for a class you thought you wanted to take. And you’re kidding yourself if you think you’re going to read a single word of anything you’ve been assigned.
4) Wake up Before Noon:
Waking up before noon should be a crime in the first place. You have that 9 AM class that you need to graduate so over break you’re looking just to catch up on a little shut-eye. It’s a break, isn’t it? You’ve earned it.
3) Stay at All Sober:
Binge drinking sounds like a break activity but it’s more of a break from your lifestyle that you need so you’ve promised yourself to stay away from booze while you’re back home. But that’s not your nature. You got to have that sweet, sweet box wine (or Natty Ice, depending on your tastes). Plus with all the Trump talk that’s bound to happen at dinner, you’re going to need a drink or a two (or a dozen).
2) Study for Finals:
Finals week is only a few weeks after Thanksgiving and those weeks go by faster than you’d think. It’s in your best interests to start studying for those finals now because once you get back you’ll be cashed out. Isn’t that just the worst part Thanksgiving break? It gives us a taste of the sweet life then makes us suffer through finals before winter break. Thanksgiving, you tease!
1) Enjoy Yourself:
Between relatives’ questions, election talk, complete boredom and the looming threat of impending exams – there’s too much going on for you to even consider relaxing.
Try to stay sane this Thanksgiving break. We at The Black Sheep will be hard at work, totally not drinking and coving the best news you want to read.
If you woke up this morning surrounded by ravaged Lunchable boxes, this is for you: