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7 Stages of Fraternity Rush Week Depression at Pitt

 

It’s that time of year again! The time when every bulletin board, every lamppost, every urinal on campus is covered with some frat’s rush flyer; when white dudes in pastel clothes start actually treating other people with kindness and respect. Yup, it’s rush week at Pitt! The spring semester means freshmen can go Greek for the first time in their young lives. Who knows what awaits once you step foot into that dive restaurant filled with dudes all wearing the same shirt? It’s not going to be pretty. So here are the 7 stages of Pitt rush week depression.

 

7.) Optimism:
Go into it with an open mind! You’ll meet a lot of great people and you’ll find a frat that you fit into and you’ll love it for the next three and half years! Everything is so great! It’s always sunny during rush week.

 

6.) Denial:
Oh man! This is a lot of pressure, but you can handle it! After all, you got through the absolute, overwhelming rigor of General Chemistry 1 last semester. You’re basically a genius. Nothing can stop you from embarrassing yourself by getting the name of the frat who’s event you’re attending wrong, or getting into a political debate with someone that ends in a shouting match.

 

5.) Pretending:
Ya, bro! I totally love American Ninja Warrior, and Dark Souls. Everything else just isn’t manly, ya know? I’m chill just you bros!

 

4.) Anxiety:
“Do you think they liked me?” You ask yourself as you cower back to Tower B and eat a whole family sized bag of cheese puffs. In a word, they probably didn’t, after all you don’t even like yourself.

 

3.) Settling:
Okay so maybe you didn’t make a good first impression with the frat bros you really liked. But there’s plenty of manly secret societies on campus. It’s a little frustrating coming off as some small-town country goober in front of these totally rad dudes who’ve been in Pitt for like, two years now. But you’ll get over it, which leads to the next phase…

 

2.) Acceptance:
You got your bid and now you’re ready to sign away your semester to being somebody’s errand boy. But it’s all gonna be so sweet once you’re a brother, bro!

 

1.) Disappointment:
It’s not Animal House. It’s not even that one episode of Bob’s Burgers when Bob cooks for a frat. It’s mostly just going to things. Welcome to real life college, kids.

 

Pitt’s fraternity and sorority rush is a big time to get to know people, make friends and find a connection. Or you could just get some free food from a bunch of frat dudes, your call.

 

 

 

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