You could barely even fill out your bracket. All it does is remind you. 16-17. 16-17. With an eight-game losing streak and the first losing season since 2000, we Panthers are just trying to put this season behind us. Thankfully, The Black Sheep has plenty of experiences with unpleasant memories you’d rather not remember.
Rule 1- Drink Every Time You See the Pete:
While we may love the Pete it’s just a sad reminder of what we’ve had to endure. This game is not recommended for people with futures they care about, but if you’re 21 and over and don’t care about public intoxication or criminal records, this one’s for you. Carry a bottle around will you and do a bottle shot every time you have to see that portal to the underworld. Continue until you’ve Pavlovian trained yourself to feel drunk the minute your eyes catch a glance. Especially fun if you live on upper campus!
Rule 2- Double Shooting:
You’ve spent years trying to impress your friends and save your failing self-esteem by shooting wads of paper into trash cans across the room. Put those finely-honed skills to good use in this drinking game. Position a trash can at the end of your room and grab some friends. Use whatever paper you have on hand, whether it be your untouched syllabi, half-finished homework assignments, the list of side effects from your anti-depressants. Crumble them into a ball and make your best shot from across the room. If you miss, you take a shot. If you manage to land it in the trash, everyone else takes a shot. Continue until Stallings isn’t a name you can recognize.
Rule 3- Dribbling:
Named partially for the act, and partially after the alcohol that dribbles down your shirt when you get too sloppy. Try to suppress your shame enough to turn on the tournament, and gather round all your friends. Every time someone’s dribbling the ball, you chug. Finish your drink when anyone gets a free throw. If you want to get competitive, everyone gets one player they chug during dribbles for. Whoever blacks out first wins.
Rule 4- Getting Ready For The Rebound:
This one works well if you’re a loner who doesn’t want to deal with other people, and also kind of a neat freak. Purge all Pitt gear from your closet to save yourself from public embarrassment, and make sure you have a bottle of liquor on hand. Go through your clothes and take a swig right from the bottle for every Pitt t-shirt, hoodie, spirit jersey, anything really, that you own. Throw them directly in the trash. Chug for as long as you can stand for anything Pitt basketball related, including your Zoo shirt. Have a beer on hand for anything blue or gold that isn’t Pitt.
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