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FINALLY! Cathy Club Becomes Official University-Sanctioned Organization

The Cathy Club – an alluring society of bold Pitt students who have risked it all to get risqué in the Cathedral. The club has previously been kept under wraps, though most are privy to its existence through word-of-mouth. That’s all about to change with the recent announcement that the club is an official university extracurricular.

“Getting enough signatures for the petition was tough,” says club president, Don Jones. “But after countless hours of waiting outside locked classrooms with a clipboard and pen, we finally did it.”

Jones became interested in making the Cathy Club official when he realized the potential for networking opportunities. “You might be hooking up with someone that could help you land that next internship, but you’re too embarrassed to ask about it in the moment,” he said. “We needed a way for club members to all stay in touch.”

Ashlee Fisher, a recent inductee, says she was initially skeptical about a sanctioned Cathy Club. “The constant emails do get annoying,” she says. Her Outlook inbox is now full of subject lines such as Was It Good For You, Too? Let Us Know By Taking Our Survey! and U Up? Join Us For a Cathy Club Meet and Greet, Friday @ 2 a.m. However, Fisher says she can get past the spam emails and is highly intrigued by the social events the club has planned.

Jones says that the challenges of putting together the club are to be expected with any student organization. “Nobody wants to come to the weekly meetings,” he said. “Granted, we go to a different room every time and refuse to share where that room is, but come on, but in a little effort people!”

Though all are welcome to join the Official Cathy Club, Jones says that executive positions will be highly selective. Only those who have previously been initiated on the first three floors of Cathedral will be considered. Bonus points if said initiation occurred during the day on a weekday.

When asked about the university’s decision to approve the Cathy Club, Chancellor Gallagher – coy as ever – answered with, “I have literally no idea what you’re talking about. Please get out of my office.”

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire.

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