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Holland Hall: Hoeland vs Broland

It’s rainin’ men in the class of 2021. So much so, that for the second time in Holland Hall’s ninety-three years of service, she will be the home of both freshman bros AND thots for their first year on campus. Us Blacksheeple have taken it upon ourselves to interview both current residents and upperclasswomen veterans to reflect on this shocking housing update.

How do you feel now that Holland is now co-ed?

“Mad that it’s co-ed now because it makes finding a guy to sleep with a lot easier than before.” – Audrey, 19
“I don’t wanna know what kind of activities boys are doing in my old room right now…” – Kayla, 20
“Salty. Just salty.” – Liz, 19

“I mean, I’ve never lived in a dorm before so… normal I guess?” – John, 18
“Lucky that I didn’t have to live in an all-girls dorm, lol.” – Jen, 18
“I don’t care. I wanted to live in Nordenberg.” – Alex, 19
“Thankful, I guess. Except for the fact that there’s no A.C. What’s the point of living with cute boys if I look like a sweaty toe?” – Jordan, 18

What do you think the bathrooms are like now? If you live there now, what are they like?

“Urinals.” – Nicole, 19
“Just penis graffiti everywhere, probably.” – Emma, 19
“I bet there’s already a glory hole.” – Anne, 21

“Well, there are toilets…” – Joey, 18
“Kinda gross.” – Zach, 18
“Smelly.” – Mike, 18

How were/are your neighbors in Holland?

“Pretty friendly. I wore more of their clothes than they did.” – Jenna, 19
“If I brought even the scent of a boy back to my room I was shamed like Cersei.” – Liv, 20

“Quite often, drunk.” – Kyle, 18
“My roommate has puked on my bed three times already.” – Luke, 18
“Hot.” – Matt, 18

What is/was the lounge like?

“Heaven because air and breathing.” — Katie, 19
“Girls and their boyfriends coming out of the guest bathroom at the same time.” – Anna, 19
“Floor events while I was trying to study.” – Elise, 20

“Either no one is there or everyone is there. There’s no in between.” – Jake, 18
“Loud.” – Liz, 18
“I found a condom by the printer last week.” – Bella, 18

What was/is the best thing about living in Holland?

“The closets.” – Alexa, 21
“Having a girl squad 24/7.” – Emily, 20
“The kitchenette that had a constantly clogged drain and a lower quality microwave than the one you have in your own room.” – Jaime, 19
“Living in the suite-style room.” – Rachel, 19

“Sweating all my calories out so I don’t have to go to the gym after class.” – Emma, 18
“Bitches to my left, bros to my right.” – Jared, 19
“Projecting Mario Kart onto North’s side wall so everyone can see me open up a can of whoop ass on Kyle with the flying blue shell.” – Nate, 18
“Not the Mario Kart games.” – Kyle, 18

Every year Pitt’s dorms are cleansed with fresh and pure underclassmen. Holland Hall, finally blessed with not only freshwomen but freshmen as well, is a different home now. Whether or not the former, feminine safe haven or the latest, sweaty reformatory is better is still in question.

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