Lupe Fiasco, Timeflies, Hoodie Allen, Chiddy “UPitt” Bang: these are the fabulous acts that Pitt Program Council, PPC, has brought to the streets of Pittsburgh. Each and every day, the diligent workers of PPC search popular culture to find the “best” and “most relevant” artists to come to Pitt and perform their greatest hits.
PPC has been diligently working to prepare for a monumental 2015-2016 school year. They’ve been sending out online polls to the entire student body. They’ve tabled in Towers. They’ve surveyed social media. They’ve tapped your phones, listened to your calls, and read your text messages.
Like the all-seeing eye burning atop Cathy, PPC has consumed all the information and today, they have released their plans for next year’s events. With dates still under speculation, they have released the acts they hope to bring to Pitt as well as some surprise guests.
For this coming Bigelow Bash, the PPC has many amazing performers lined up to come. In November they sent out a survey to all students to find out who the students wanted to come, and of course, the resulting list had high rollers like Kanye West, Kendrick Lamar, and Walk the Moon as possibilities.
Today, the PPC revealed the amazing lineup — headlining the show will be a hologram of Thriller-Michael Jackson (though PPC’s budget will only allow a Dora the Explorer-esque animated version) accompanied by the amazing DJ Nordy and DJ Gallagher. This lineup is quite surprising since neither name was on the student survey, but sources in PPC revealed that the survey was only a “hype tool” to get people excited for next year. They hoped the possibility of Kanye West was enough to make ticket scales skyrocket compared to the small showing this past year.
“We wanted to get a ton of publicity with the survey so the student body got pumped,” said senior ecology major Mary Jan Bud “and then we felt we could book a few cheaper musical acts so we have even more money to use for our Thursday Night Build-A-Bear nights. With this extra money we can buy more Dragon Bears and then more people would definitely come out!”
Pitt Program Council also plans on continuing their highly successful “An Evening with…” programs. Last year, they were able to get Friends star and noted A-list celebrity Matthew Perry and SNL funny man Kenan Thompson. PPC has announced their plans on bringing Mothra and Godzilla from the new movie Godzilla. They agreed upon terms of the current Carnegie Dinosaur statue: Dippy being crushed by Godzilla’s left leg, and a new shrine to Godzilla’s prizefight against Mothra.
“It’s the least I can do,” said Godzilla in a brief interview.
To fill in the less eventful weekends, the Pitt Program Council also plans to have cooking lessons with the chefs in Market, Scooter Riding Days in Downtown, and cultural immersion trips in Homestead.
Overall, the Pitt Program Council really pulled out the stops for the 2015-2016 school year. With so many amazing new additions to the calendar, they will be sure to entertain all the bright-eyed energetic, and gullible students at the University of Pittsburgh.