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Mantras of Mediocrity:


It’s that time in the semester when people start losing their motivation, but fear not, Pitt! You can find inspiration in the places you least expect, including the streets of Oakland.




You only get one lifetime to leave an impression on society. So why not make it… um, memorable? Yeah, we’re all in college, but poop jokes are still funny.




Screw the travel blogs and kids from your high school who moved to another country after graduation! South Oakland is as young, wild, and free as it gets, people. Despite the open container policy, you can get away with mostly all things. (keyword: mostly, do not rest your fate in our hands)




Shout out to Halloween remnants for inspiring us to release our inner space cowboy. Truth be told, you could wear this on any given day, and you’d still probably get minimal strange side-eye if you were somewhere in Oakland. Not sure if it’s because we’re accepting or don’t give a shit.




The horror. One can only hope it was empty at the time of death.




But don’t settle for anything less than garlic sauce. “Tim passed away peacefully on Saturday surrounded by his friends and Sorrento’s pizzas.”




The Nittany Lion looks like a wet rodent. I mean, come on. And if there weren’t enough reasons to just generally curse at Penn State, they have a Primanti’s on campus now. Like, we get it, you want to be us… fuck you.


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