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Schenley Park Joint Joints


Parks are lovely to walk in. In fact, they are so lovely; you almost wish you had something to light up the mood with. An earthy, stinky joint, right? The Black Sheep finds where that special spot is in Pittsburgh’s Schenely Park.


Most stoners know the do’s and don’ts of smoking weed on campus. Specifically, where NOT to do it. The preliminary stuff (rolling the joint, licking the joint, and making sure it doesn’t get crunched) can be done in an unkempt dorm room with the smoke detector ripped out. If it’s a nice day out, or nicer than sitting on old furniture with joint roaches everywhere, it may be ideal to smoke those spliffs in a pleasant environment. So why not a park?


Schenley Park offers many trails (that means four, maybe five), and one of those trails enters downwards, and downwards, until the stoners in question sees Panther Hollow Lake. At the right time of the day like Wednesday at 4 p.m., stoners can congregate at a random slab of concrete under the bridge. This gives the stoners the aimless meandering of heading off into the Hollow Run trail.


Down Hollow Run trail is the Barlett Shelter, which is really a picnic ground. Stoners would see it as a blazing ground. The only challenge here is the shelter is right next to a playground. That may be empty since it is at this point 4:30 p.m., the result is stoners on swing sets.


For all you stoners, after seeing how legitimately high you can get from swinging and still be tripping on the skunk, comes time to get off. Since now, you are heading back down Hollow Run trail to Steve Faloon Memorial trail. The best trail to be baked since you can still witness the beauty of all the trees around you.


A combination of uphill and maybe 30 minutes of walking, this trail is more scenic than anything. Granted that does include some mileage on those lethargic legs of yours. Really though, it’s genuinely more exciting to be high in the open than hotboxing in a bathroom. Along the route, you may encounter your Iphone or Samsung loosing signal. Welcome to mother nature. So you light a joint halfway.


When stoners are done on probably their third joint, they are either, “really feeling it breh” or “just one more hit man”. This is the case when Steve Faloon Memorial Trail ends. Now that the stoners are on West Circuit Road, a certain Westinghouse Memorial can be seen from afar. Jaywalk across and check it out. It adds to the ambiance.


The final roasting point is Flagstaff Hill that overlooks both the Carnegie Mellon and University of Pittsburgh campuses. Get to the top of the hill and relax. Good job! You have travelled the trails of Schenely Park! Now give that dented cigarette joint some loving. Can’t go back to campus smelling like baked goods.           



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