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A Semester at Pitt, as Told by Pitt Football


Pitt Football is currently on its 6th week of the season. So far, Pitt has play Villonova, Penn State, Oklahoma, Marshall University, and Georgia Tech. Pitt has a reputation for going ultra aggressive at the beginning of every first half, tanking in the 3rd quarter, then rebounding for a astonishing finishing at the end of the 4th quarter. The Black Sheep sees a semester at Pitt probably exactly similar to their college football games.


Pitt vs. Villanova: A Quiz
Pitt beating Villanova can be compared to not flunking your first quiz. You are still a rusty student from the long stretch of the summer but know how to get around a simple quiz. Passing it prepares you for the incoming (dreaded) group project.


Pitt vs. Penn State: A Group Project
It is fairly early to be slapped with a midterm; so instead, you are assigned to work on a group project with two to three other corresponding students. Those students, like you, equally groan that they are required via the syllabus to do group project. Just hope you don’t get the group member who doesn’t do anything. Protip, you will. And you will work together somehow to finish the project. Similar to Pitt “working” to beat Penn State. 


Pitt vs. Oklahoma State: A Group Presentation
Remember when you did that awful group project? Well, now you need to present your research to the class. In a group. Where one group member doesn’t want to talk much. And you end up having to do the lion’s share of talking. This includes being 40% involved in creating the PowerPoint. Like Pitt vs. Oklahoma, you deliver below the mark. At least that’s over.


Pitt vs. North Carolina: Unusually Hard Second “Quiz”
Your first quiz went great. In fact, it went so great, you felt as if the next one will be as easy as the first. Wrong. This second “quiz” (quasi-test) initially goes great for you. Then, you flip the page and are like, “the hell?” at all the short answer questions. You try your best to answer them but forget a key word here and there. Fortunately, when you get to the diagrams in the last section of the quiz, you ace that shit. Phew.


Pitt vs. Marshall: Attendance
Have you been coming to lecture? Good. Have you been taking notes? Great. Have you been studying? Sweet. Do you have a grip on how this course goes? Yep. You basically are the equivalent of Pitt beating Marshall.


Pitt vs. Georgia Tech: The Midterm
The one exam that determines 30% of your grade. Maybe even more?! You feel like you are prepared from pulling an all-nighter on 5 hour energies the night before. Wishful thinking, you reviewed the right material. It is time! Good luck!


Yep, we didn’t mention a third quiz, a random paper, or the final. Oh well, better get back to studying, fellow undergrad!



Is there actual crack in Pumpkin Spice Lattes? Or is it something else?

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