It’s been confirmed by several sources that today at approximately 2:30 p.m., members of the Westboro Baptist Church will be picketing our campus for around a half an hour before venturing to Duquesne’s campus. Pitt students have demonstrated acts of nonviolent protest and counter-protest many times before, even just within the last month. The calling for more support for those targeted by the aggressive opinions of groups like the WBC, however, is approaching once again. So we’ve comprised some counter-protest slogans for you to take up when they arrive.
5.) “The Chancellor is a lizard person!”:
It’s not catchy, but it’s certainly something that will confuse them and probably get them to stop spewing their nonsensical hatred towards pretty much everyone. Sure, some people believe that Gallagator is simply “Gallagher,” but they are fooled. Plus, if Westboro Baptists believe that Obama is the antichrist, why wouldn’t they believe our very own chancellor is a lizard person?
4.) “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit!”:
The Westboro bros would certainly not appreciate this type of language, but Pitt students don’t appreciate those who hate homosexuals, especially considering half of the freshman class goes to Cruze every Thursday night. Maybe by invoking the football team, you’ll kill two birds with one stone and encourage them to win.
3.) “The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell!”:
What better way to uphold Pitt’s academic integrity than to express our knowledge in a non-violent way. If the Westboro Baptists are so concerned with expressing their opinions, then opinion must be fought with fact. They may argue that war is wrong and soldiers don’t deserve proper burials; but, they can’t argue that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. Firing back at their protests by stating this will certainly put them at a gridlock.
2.) “Fuck Penn State!”:
Pardon our French, Westboro Baptists, but this one’s a tradition. We Pitt students may chant this everywhere–after a victory, when the bass drops, when she does that thing you like–but we also chant this when unwanted bigotry enters our campus. Maybe the phrase is not entirely “fuck Penn State” but rather “get the heck off our campus or we’re calling Daddy DiNucci.”
1.) “Hail to Pitt!”:
This one will really ruffle their feathers. Hail to a university that accepts everyone, no matter their religion, sexual orientation, or political beliefs? Yes, hail to Pitt. Hail to a community of accepting and well-educated students and faculty that acknowledge ignorance and discrimination. And hail to Roc, cause he’s a daddy. If even the KKK hates you, there’s a definite chance that students and staff at the University of Pittsburgh do not want you on their campus.