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10 Purdue Professors That’ll Get Your Boiler Right Up

Admit it, we’ve all sat in lecture fantasizing about going to office hours and mackin’ on our favorite professors, (just like in that bad porno you thought you would watch that one lonely night.) To fuel this fantasy, we decided to give you a list of the most spontaneous boner-causing, panty-wetting Purdue professors. You’re welcome.

10.) Rafael Lang, Physics & Astronomy:

Look at that dang smile, let’s go stargazing and you can spell our names in the constellations. 

9.) Brian Smith, Communication:

Love a man in a bow tie. So very dapper, w o w. Communication scholars are well schooled in the art of conversation, and we know all you girls “just want someone you can talk to.”

8.) Kateryna Holland, Finance:

We wish we were a Venture Capitalist, because we would love to invest in your assets. Beauty, and the knowledge on how to manage your money right? Sign us up.

7.) Kyle Haynes, Political Science:

We heard a rumor that Kyle Haynes does Calvin Klein ads and looking at him, we believe it. No one looks this good in black and white. No one.

6.) Alexandra Boltasseva, Electrical and Computer Engineering:

We know the spring constant for my mattress, want to gather some data? 

5.) Daniel Kelly, Philosophy:

We think therefore we are…definitely going to your office hours. Talk Dewey to us Danny, and let us run our fingers through your hair.

4.) Alejandro Cuza, Spanish and Linguistics:

Hi Professor Cuza, we’re having some trouble rolling my R’s, can we come into office hours and get a hands on demonstrations?

3.) Timothy Bentley, Veterinary Medicine:

There is a reason why boys borrow dogs for their Tinder profile. Bitches love animal lovers.

2.) Caroline Janney, History:

Why study past history when we can make our own?

1.) Alex Isaacs, Pharmacy:

You need to add us to the methadone register, because we’re addicted to you in that suit. 

For a school full of nerds, Purdue has some pretty spicy professors in their ranks. It’s okay if you want to change your major now, we definitely do too.

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb, hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep, Mackenzie & Andrea. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame:

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