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Racist New Brunswickers to Hastily Make Signs for Obama Commencement

 

Today, President Barack Obama announced he will speak at Rutgers’ 250th anniversary commencement on May 15th. The surprise announcement comes 2 years after President Robert Barchi first wrote President Obama.

 

While many Rutgers students and New Brunswick residents alike are pleasantly surprised by the announcement, a small subset of the New Brunswick population has been caught off guard.

 

“They’re a tricky bunch!” local racist David Leuer noted to The Black Sheep. “You think you’ve scared ‘em off for good, then nope—they’ll sneak back in there real quick-like.”

 

Leuer leads local hate group Proud Racists of New Brunswick, established shortly after Obama’s 2009 inauguration.

 

“How we gon’ make them signs look good an’ be funny?” fellow PRNB member Rebecca Anderson wondered, taking a drag from a cigarette. “Being clever and racist at the same time is a lot harder than ya’ think.”

 

 Despite living in New Brunswick, home of the flagship campus for the most diverse university in the nation, members of the PRNB aim to continue their fight against diversity and acceptance.

 

“I’m thinkin’,” Leuer noted, “Maybe a play on a stop sign? Like, ‘Stop… miscegenation in this nation’ or somethin’?” he sighed. “Then, we’ll make the red part white. You know—symbolism. White is better. But if the red part’s white, you know, how you supposed to read the white text? I dunno, this is hard. Think we can outsource this one’a them guys in India or somethin’?”

 

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