With a heavy heart and an empty mason jar The Black Sheep is sad to report the closing of “The Warm Spot,” located near Student Center East. After a swift closing of UIC’s 4th floor, the campus has taken measures to insure the disintegration of fun on campus and solidified their position with the shut down of The Warm Spot, making sure that no one enters the former stoner haven.
“We feel like animals, man.” Said Jerry “Roachripper” Jones, who had spoken to The Black Sheep in early October. “We were just preparing for the fall of a lifetime, and the school gates us out. It’s tragic, dude.”
Statements from the stoner community came out after UIC’s recent actions led to a metal fence being placed in the doorway of the popular smoke spot.
“Yeah, it looks like the cage from a WWE cage match, but it’s no where near as fun. The Warm Spot was a place of camaraderie and a safe space for people of all backgrounds to feel welcomed. UIC has shown its true face by ripping its welcoming walls from our dank, sticky hands.”
Jones went on to reiterate the brotherhood brought to UIC by The Warm Spot:
“I know they’re trying to tear us apart, but like, honestly dude, this is just going to bring us together even more.” Jones told The Black Sheep, “Our Facebook group, UIWEED, is already banding together to find new spots to light the reef.”
The Roachripper continued to shed light on the situation, “We’re taking this just as The Warm Spot would have liked us to, positively and constructively. Sure UIC is continuing to tear fun away from campus, but like, we can fight back, man.” Jones said.
Maintenance worker Gary Wick is the man who put the gate movement in motion.
“I put the fence up and it smelled like pot over there. Honestly, I was kind of looking for some pot and was hoping one of those smokers would be over there so I could score some,” noted Wick. “As soon as I started to approach the area they all scattered in different directions like they had rehearsed it before.”
Jerry Jones stressed the importance of the closing of The Warm Spot encouraging students to sign his petition to get the gate removed. “You just got to keep on keeping on, man. We may have lost the battle, but we will win the war.” He said while stuffing laundry sheets into an empty toilet paper roll and heading back to his dorm. “This isn’t over.”