In honor of Valentine’s Day this Sunday, we’ve compiled a Sex Playlist for our humping Hokies. These are our fave selections:
10.) “Touch My Body,” Mariah Carey:
Because what’s a sex playlist without some classic Mariah? It may have come out a long time ago when you thought sex was just kissing naked (guilty), but now you’re a sophisticated Virginia Tech student who is getting ready to bang it out.
9.) “Pony,” Ginuwine:
Mostly because of Channing Tatum — who wouldn’t want to think about Channing Tatum while having sex? It’s especially useful if you picked up your V-Day lay after too many Margs at El Rods.
8.) “BedRock,” Young Money:
Warning: you may stop mid thrust and rap Nicki’s part, but the lyrics will help you keep in mind that your roommate is in the bunk right below you, since those dorm beds sure do rock when lofted.
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7.) “Your Body Is A Wonderland,” John Mayer:
This song is for those who prefer to get down to a mellow jam—mostly those who frequently find themselves in Mill Mountain and like their coffee extra creamy. Hide it all you want; we know there’s a freak under that beanie.
6.) “Like A Wrecking Ball,” Eric Church:
We couldn’t forget about our country folks on campus, park your Diesel in the Duck Pond lot, turn up the radio, and get to it. Pretty soon, your truck won’t be the only thing blowing black smoke.
5.) “I Touch Myself,” Divinyls:
We didn’t overlook ya’ll that are #foreveralone. Whether you’re pounding the flounder or tossing the turkey, this song is for you.
4.) “Wetter,” Twista:
A shout out to all the freaks that call their boyfriend Daddy. We’re concerned for you, but here’s a song “to make it rain” you know where. They’ll be so wet that they’ll feel like they just got caught on the Drillfield during a thunderstorm, without an umbrella.
3.) “Hokey Pokey”:
This is the perfect mid playlist song to remind Hokies what happens when you pokie and “shake it all about.” Remember to give that ‘warning tap’ to the thigh before you learn what having a baby “is all about.”
2.) “I’ll Show You,” Justin Bieber:
Let’s admit it, it’s not just the Bean Boot wearin’ hoes that are obsessing. We all have Bieber fever. What better way to suppress that fever than listening to Justin’s sweet, sweet voice while boinking on V-Day!?
1.) “Enter Sandman,” Metallica:
Get jumping, because you’re getting laid and it’s warm within. Just don’t forget to exit too late.
For our full sex music playlist, just search “Hokie Sex Playlist” on Spotify. You’re welcome. Happy Valentine’s Day Hokies, enjoy your pokie(s)!