With the next school session just around the corner, the beloved Hog Call can be heard all across Arkansas. Start the call, and it’s guaranteed to be returned by everyone within a five mile radius. However, with a plethora of locations to choose from, deciding when and where to Sooie can be extremely difficult. Luckily, The Black Sheep has compiled a list of times and places that are sure to get that Hog Pride rumbling.
4.) The Union bathrooms
Everyone knows that the bathroom is the only place to make friends nowadays. The Union bathrooms, being at the heart of campus and chock full of unaware students, are sure to give you optimal results. However, those loud flushing toilets and smaller stall gaps make striking up a conversation virtually impossible. Lucky for you, Calling the Hogs doesn’t require small talk. The best plan of action is to stick your hands under the stall (spirit fingers are encouraged) and let loose. The Black Sheep recommends rapid octave changes and guttural “YEAHS” sprinkled between for optimal results. If you feel that this is too aloof, be sure to grab hold of your mark’s ankles and pull yourself into the stall. Your dedication will blow them away. Nothing helps bring out a number two like a reminder of who is number one.
3.) In a fight with a significant other
We’ve all been there, caught in the vicious gaze of our better half, with no way to dig ourselves out. The Razorbacks have given you a foolproof solution. No more awkward silences when she asks why your ex is texting you. No more avoiding contact with your girlfriend after you referred to her eyebrows as “The Very Hungry Caterpillars.” All your relationship problems can be solved with a little Hog-love. Next time you hear the dreaded “WHAT did you say?” square your shoulders, take a deep breath, and yell “WOOOOOO!” Your significant other will be forced to join, and they will instantly remember why they waste their time on you.
2.) At a funeral
The Black Sheep has a few suggestions for this: ditch the drab dress code, black is so overdone. Instead, opt for a Razorback hat and a bare torso that reads “Hogz B4 Hoes.” The Black Sheep also recommends doing this at an A&M fan’s funeral. Nothing can make a mourner chuckle like the reminder of a hatred-fueled rivalry. Be sure to tell them where they can shove those two 2012/2013 wins between eulogies. Remember, for this occasion, timing is everything. Wait for the first speech then let that hog call rip. The teary-eyed attendants will appreciate your ability to lighten the mood.
1.) At the gynecologist/proctologist’s office
You two already have a special, super-wkward bond, and there is nothing like prolonged eye contact and school spirit to make it legit. These doctors may be a little shy at first. Don’t worry though because The Black Sheep has a solution. For you ladies, put your legs in the stirrups, your hands in the air, and scream. For the gentlemen, bend over and do the same. To achieve the best results, be sure to Call the Hogs in the middle of the exam as it allows you the element of surprise. Nothing will ever spark your pride again quite like an echoed “Woo Pig Sooie” from your lady-cave/ man-cheeks. Hey, maybe after this bonding experience you two could go grab a drink or something.
With countless other locations to choose from, you’re sure to Woo Pig Sooie your way in to the heart of millions.