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5 Reasons UConn Basketball Will Repeat Their Miraculous Tournament Run

UConn lost Shabazz. Last year was lucky. The frontcourt is thin without Daniels. This is all the shit flying out of the mouths of Duke lovers and Kentucky nut huggers, such as Dickie V and Jay Bilas. However, here at The Black Sheep we are confident that the Huskies are actually better than last year, and have a great chance at making a repeat run.

 

The Purv Fills the Void
It’s true we did lose Shabazz, but NC State transfer Rodney Purvis is now eligible and looking to fill the void. Who is Rodney Purvis you may ask? Imagine Shabazz, but with a full meal plan. Seriously, this guy is a tank. I saw him out benching a Pike in the weight room the other day, and he has a crazy vertical. I got personally dunked on by Purvis in the rec center last year. I’m talking full nuts to face, put me on a poster. I think I still have a concussion from that fateful day. Moral of the story here is with the addition of Purvis, and the always improving Boatright, UConn will have the best backcourt in the country once again.

 

White Chocolate
Pat Lenehan, aka White Lightning, aka The Red Mamba, aka the 2015 #1 NBA draft pick, aka this year’s Naismith Award winner (if you’re a gambling man grab this at 3500/1 odds and pay off your tuition come March…thank us later.) After watching Pat for a few years it’s hard to overlook his arsenal of moves. Garbage time fade aways, garbage time lefty layups, garbage time lock down D. When we are up 90-72 on Duke with a minute left in the second half, you better believe White Lightning will come in, hit a backbreaker 3, and throat slash right in Coach K’s ugly mug.

 

The Kevin Ollie Theory
What is the Ollie theory? Simple, the cooler the coach, and better he can connect with his players, the more successful the team will be. Take a look around at how teams finished last year and you will see a strong correlation to what their coach is all about. In our corner we have the suave, inspiring, and fiery Kevin Ollie, which translated to a championship. How about the other top teams in the AAC? Let’s start with Memphis coach Josh Pastner. Total squid, the guy suspended a player for swearing and claims he has never cursed, hey Josh…You’re a pussy. Next is our rival Cinncinati Bearcats coach Mick Cronin. Where do I even start? He looks like he should live in the Shire with Frodo, and worries more about arguing and screaming at refs than developing a strategy to win. Perfect recipe for another first round exit. Finally we have SMU’s Larry Brown. Gotta say, this guy is a great coach…too bad he’s almost 100 years old and most of his defensive sets were effective back when Russia was still the Soviet Union.

 

No, No, No!
We have 7 feet of lean, mean African machine. Kind of a weird way to say Amida Brimah, but at the end the day we have a guy who can touch the rim without jumping and other teams don’t. In addition to his height and All-American shot blocking ability it looks like he finally discovered Wings Over and DP Dough, as his frame has filled out and he will more effectively battle stockier post players. 

 

Glen Miller.
Too much fuckin’ Swag. Nuff Said.

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