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Top 10: Things to do After an Arkansas Upset

Razorback fans always look forward to the football season, and this Saturday our Hogs kick it off against the brutal Auburn Tigers. We Hogs have had losses galore, but the true fans stay strong in cheering on the only team Arkansas has to cheer for. But really, what else is there to do besides putting all your energy and money into a team that you pray won’t break your heart every Saturday. What if they actually won one of these tough S.E.C games? The Black Sheep brings you the top 10 things to do after a Razorback upset to those dedicated fans who hope that Bret Bielema hasn’t washed his lucky game day windbreaker.


10.) Drink:
The obvious choice after a Razorback win is a celebratory drink. Dickson Street has great drink deals on Saturday nights at places like Grub’s ($3 shots) and Dickson Street Pub ($2 Jello shots and more!). Don’t get too drunk though because you don’t want to forget a night that Arkansas actually won a football game.


9.) Scream:
WOO PIG SOOIE! all over campus. Any time someone hears the beginning of that infamous Hog Call, no one can resist finishing out the rest of that call. Go up to your classmates, professors and that old lady who can barely hear. Everyone loves a good random Hog Call, and you’ll be the one keeping everyone pumped up after the win.


8.) Capitalize:
Remember all those bedazzled shirts and red and silver jingle bell earrings you made, hoping to start a business of selling Razorback merchandise? Well, now is your chance to sell your handmade swag to sorority girls and Razorback mothers. Capitalize on this win and get your business started. You got this!


7.) Regret:
Oops. You totally forgot about that midterm on Tuesday and you’ve been drunk all weekend celebrating the Razorback win, resulting in zero hours of studying. No worries! Head to class on midterm day (either still drunk or definitely hung over) and explain to your teacher how excited you were about the win and you just didn’t get a chance to study. Your professor understands how important football games are to students, and will tell you to rest and take the midterm when you’re ready. Thank you, Razorback football. 


6.) Lust:
As you’re leaving the game after chanting, “It’s hard to be humble when you’re an Arkansas Razorback fan. GO HOGS,” you see your crush you’ve been pining after for months. The Hogs just won and everyone is in a good mood, go for that dramatic Hollywood kiss. Grab your crush and kiss them like it’s the last win the Razorbacks will ever have. Because who knows, it might be.


5.) Hide:
Avoid any person of the opposing team. Pretty much every team that plays against the Razorbacks thinks they’ll be getting an automatic win, so if there’s an upset and the Razorbacks won, don’t go near Auburn, Alabama, LSU, or A&M fans. No good could possibly come of that on either side of the fight.


4.) Broadcast:
Need a new photo album on Facebook because you haven’t posted any pictures in three days? You’re in luck if you took pictures of the winning touchdown, screaming fans and Bret Bielema fist pumping the air or high-fiving Brandon Allen. If you happened to have taken a video in the stadium of fans screaming ARKANSAS! and the other half screaming RAZORBACKS! in between plays, you’d be extra lucky. Think of all those Likes!


3.) Socialize:
What an amazing way to meet new and happy people after a win. Frat houses will have parties after game day wins and if you’ve been looking for an opportunity to get in with the frat and srat stars, now’s your chance. No one should be alone after a Razorback victory.


2.) Invest:
Invest in purchasing a box to future Razorback games, and if you’re really pumped up, buy season tickets for however many years you would like to attend Razorback games after you’ve graduated. This win was a glimpse into a bright future that is sure to pay off. Well, it better because you just spent your savings to pay off your school loans to buy season passes. It’ll be worth it, right. 


1.) Reflect:
Let’s be honest now. The Razorbacks won. Are we sure this isn’t some fluke or a brilliantly thought out prank? Did someone pay the refs to throw all those flags and to not count those three touchdowns the other team had? Something had to have gone wrong. No? We actually won?! Let the celebration ensue. And never let it end. Go Hogs!

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