We at The Black Sheep love Virginia Tech. We wake up at ungodly hours to tailgate, shotgun maroon and orange beers, yell “LET’S GOOO” at the top of our lungs while stumbling down the streets, and even plan on naming our children Frank and/or Beamer. We’re in full support of people who have a wardrobe of only VT gear and completely understand people’s love and obsession with this school. However, there are ways to show your loyalty without looking like an asshole. Here are some things that just do not need to exist:
Orange patent leather heals? Why? We really don’t understand how a school with a fashion program that’s ranked 15th in the world can also have people who wear these. Booties with 4 ½ inch heels that have the Hokie Bird’s face on them are atrocious and even a little offensive. The shoes range in price from $99 to $249, which is about how much you would have to pay us to wear these hideous things.
Virginia Tech Perfume and Cologne
When we think about all of the things we love about Tech, the smell is definitely not one of them. Do the creators of this realize that Blacksburg smells like ass? We can only imagine that the people you’d attract wearing these scents would be the people you could also find on FarmersOnly.com.
Maroon and Orange Overalls
There are ways to show school spirit without looking like a clown. Maroon and orange stripes don’t mix well with overalls, and overalls don’t mix well with 2014. Unless you like giving off the impression that you lure little kids into your windowless white van with candy and balloon animals, don’t wear these.
Virginia Tech Scrunchies
We’re not sure if people are trying to bring back trends from the 80s, or if these exact scrunchies have been in stores since the 80s. If you wouldn’t wear a regular scrunchie (you shouldn’t), then why would you wear one with a VT logo on it?
We really shouldn’t have to explain this one. Just don’t.
There are plenty of things you can wear to inform everyone around you how much you love Virginia Tech without also making him or her question if you own a mirror. Stop dressing like a douchebag and embarrassing the entire Hokie Nation. Make Joan Rivers proud (RIP).