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10 Ways to Identify a Syracuse Freshman

At Syracuse, we love all our students no matter the year. But there is no doubt that the most hilariously irritating group are freshmen. With their curious eyes and clueless smiles, we upperclassmen have the ability to sense– or sometimes even smell– if a student is new. By carefully studying reoccurring freshman tendencies and characteristics (along with the particular stench of The Mount and BBB) we have created a list to help outsiders identify this interesting breed.

 

10.) Lanyards:

Not only do freshmen still have those aggressively orange lanyards, but they wear them around their neck like it’s a VIP pass into Graham Dining Hall.

 

9.) Actually attending football games:

Freshmen don’t yet understand the utter heartbreak and disappointment that is SU Football. And so they give them a chance, stay for the whole game even if we’re losing, channel all that they learned at “Own The Dome,” until they inevitably can care less about football in general.

 

8.) Taking cabs to Marshall Street:

Syracuse students are more blessed than most when it comes to bar convenience. Essentially the heart of our campus is a row of watering holes, yet the youngsters insist that it is too far from the Mount or BBB (10 minutes MAX) when traveling in less than 75-degree weather.

 

7.) Backpacking beer in The Corner Store:

We all know the infamous corner store that has supplied this great campus with cheap beer for years. But only freshmen will strut into this fine establishment, purchase their goods, and proceed to shovel their Genesee Light into a bag that’s too small for a thirty.

 

6.) They wander Euclid:

There’s a big difference between walking down Euclid and wandering. When we see the wanderers on Euclid they appear to be lost souls floating through purgatory, wide-eyed and looking into the windows of homes in search of neon party lights.

 

5.) They travel in herds:

Whilst wandering Euclid, it is another indicator of true freshmen if these Wanderers appear to be traveling in herds. For some reason, Syracuse freshmen cannot travel Euclid, Comstock, or Walnut in groups of less than 45. Could be fear of fraternal jumpings or just the sheer fact that they have no idea who their friends are, so they invite the entire residence hall for every minor excursion.

 

4.) Paying 5 bucks for a party on Euclid:

If the wandering herds isn’t enough of an indicator… just wait until they get to the door of that much-sought-after party. And when asked to pay $5 for beer that may or may not be in that house, they pay it without a second of hesitation.

 

3.) They’re sketchy about where they smoke weed:

If you ever see someone smoking weed on top of an academic building, the Mount stairs, that alley on Marshall, or 15 yards from a dorm behind a tree…make no mistake, that’s a freshman.

 

2.) Making out inside bars:

For some reason it is absolutely imperative that if one freshman and another are attracted to one another, they make out on the spot. Right there in that sweaty mosh that is DJ’s. There is no number exchange, hardly any conversation, but most certainly an awkward encounter at a dining hall that following morning. 

 

1.) Saying “my bad” if they bump into someone at the bar:

Too worried about offending the wrong fraternity guy or sorority girl, or not confident yet in the amount of friends they have backing them up. Whatever the case, if you are gently grazed on the shoulder in a packed Harry’s and hear someone utter a soft and sweet “I’m sorry,” please ask them how CAS 101 is.

 

 

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