Hello fellow Syracuse University students! The Black Sheep is super hyped to be reporting on the thing we love the most: tailga–we mean basketball. Ah, the beautiful game of basketball, where large men dribble a small ball and then shoot it from various distances in order to score points. It’s exciting just thinking about it! Since we know so much about the sport, we’ve decided to give you a detailed ACC tournament preview with our latest predictions.
4.) It’s going to be pretty crazy based on how drunk we were on Saturday:
Saturday’s game against Clemson was a doozy. Well, more like a snoozy, because we fell asleep in the Dome bleachers after going a little too hard at Castle. Oops. We woke up just in time to see that we made it onto the big screen AND Barstool ‘Cuse #famous. Anyways, we crushed them. Right? We left five minutes before the game ended because nobody likes a crowd. But they definitely won because ‘Cuse was lit afterwards. We’re talking DJ’s at 5 o’clock on a Saturday.
3.) Wait, didn’t we just win the ACC championship?:
Now, there’s something called the ACC championship. Or was Saturday’s game the ACC championship? Can someone tell us when the ACC championship is? We’re really confused and arguing now. Anyway, hope that happens soon because the Final Four parties were crazy! Syracuse will probably do the same as they did last year. By the way, does anyone know how they did last year?
2.) Syracuse has a pretty good shot because, somehow, Jim Boeheim is still the coach:
All we know for certain is that Jim Boeheim is (shockingly) still the coach, and that means that we’re probably still good or at least decent. Ok, you got us–we haven’t been paying attention to basketball at all. But who does? (Calm down boys of Syracuse University, we get you like sports.) We like sports, too! It gives us an excuse to drink and stand out in the snow. Sure, we don’t know all the logistics of it all, but what did you expect?
1.) If Syracuse scores more points than every team, they’ve got a pretty good chance:
Well, whatever the ACC championship is, we hope we did well so we can brag to our friends about how great our school basketball team is, as if it was us that actually played against Clemson and won by three. That’s right–we know the score…we looked it up on Google. If we keep that whole scoring-more-points-than-the-opponent-thing, well, we’ve got a good chance.We may not have watched a single minute of the game, but we’re still damn proud of our fellow Orangemen. That’s what we like to call school pride!
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