There’s nothing like enjoying the luxury of a beautiful, personal, clean bathroom. We’re lookin’ at you all in those “new” and “renovated” and “accommodating” dorms across campus with those rich-person personal stalls. However, hidden in the darkest corners on campus lurks the scariest thought of them all: a dirty bathroom. Here are some spots to definitely steer clear from if dirty isn’t your vibe.
5.) Hall of Languages:
Literally rancid. Not sure what happens to this place in the 10 minutes in between class, but truly all Hell breaks loose. People forget how to place toilet paper into the toilet (it literally has its end destination in the title), people walk in ugly but come out uglier, and absolutely no one washes their hands!
Everyone shits on South Campus already, so what’s one more con going to do? This bathroom has literally not been touched since Pablo Picasso’s Blue Period.
Okay, so listen. This bathroom is literally so clean all the time that it makes students feel dirty. Students walk out feeling both dirty in the sense that they need to shower six times to keep up to the standard of this bathroom, and dirty in the sense that if this bathroom was a person, she would be so freaking hot. YES! Let’s definitely objectify this bathroom.
Cannot even step inside this building. Can smell the bathroom from right here.
1.) Newhouse 2:
This is the kind of toilet that Nemo wishes he flushed himself down. Or something. This lavatory, located in the exact center of the Syracuse campus, is where the other 0.01% of germs that don’t get killed with hand sanitizer come to party. This is where Moaning Myrtle would originally hang out but deemed it too dirty for her dead soul.
Use these insider tips wisely and do number ones and twos before leaving the luxury of your dorm or the mediocre septic-system of your off campus house.
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