A recent discovery has the entirety of Syracuse University wondering, “Why us?” Otto the Orange, or should we say, Otto the “Clementine,” has actually been duping New York’s College Team for around 50 years now. The Black Sheep has some strong evidence against this naughty little fruit, and it’s time for the public to know the truth. Now, a revelation of what makes him so clementine-y.
5.) His eyes:
Have you ever seen an orange with eyes? Didn’t think so. Clementines are world-renowned for their ability to see. Their acute vision keeps them alert and oriented, hence Otto’s ability to ride that scooter all over Central New York.
4.) His lack of belly button:
An important part of an orange is the whole “navel” situation. You know, a “navel orange.” Ever seen Otto’s belly button? Have you ever seen his dainty little belly button piercing? That was a trick question because it simply does not exist! Do you know why? Because clementines do not have belly buttons.
3.) His loose skin:
You’ve all seen Otto do that thing where he tucks his arms in tight then twists his whole body around the rest…of… his…body? Saying it out loud now makes him sound even more suspect. Anyway, oranges are well-known to have extremely dense skin. Clementines, on the other hand, are easily peeled, which without a doubt explains Otto’s incredible skin façade.
2.) His tan:
He is far too bronzed to be considered orange. Don’t kid yourself.
1.) His agility:
There is simply no way a REAL orange could keep up at the pace Otto bolts around campus, the football field, and the basketball court. Orange are straight up fat; clementines are stealthy and skinny af. It is naïve to think that a REAL orange could hoist a flag over his shoulder and run at those epic speeds.
Otto is a clementine. Wake up, America.