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‘No Way to Prevent Guys Being Guys,’ Says University Who Continues to Allow Frats

On Wednesday, after the release of a video that showed members of the Theta Tau fraternity engaging in racist behavior, university officials suspended the fraternity, but said that at the end of the day, there was just “no way to prevent guys being guys.”

“Hey, we can suspend all the frats we want, but what’s that going to do when there’s just no way to prevent guys being guys?” pondered a university official. “Fraternities are a place where men can gather in basements and play out racially-driven scenarios that release repressed aggression of feelings towards people who aren’t white — if we get rid of frats, we get rid of racist, close-minded boys learning how to become racist, close-minded men.”

The video, the latest in a long series of clips that catch fraternities in the act of promoting racist, misogynistic, and downright life-threatening environments, seems to be one of the worst in recent memory.

“But what’re you going to do, get rid of a collegiate institution that works hand-in-hand with the financial arm of universities across the country?” asked Harry Saunders, a Syracuse resident and university alumnus. “Good luck! Do you have any idea those frat bros who grow up and go work in finance donate? I don’t think they even know.”

On Thursday, the Theta Tau national chapter was looking for way around this whole thing without stepping on the toes of fraternity donors whose sons are in the frat, as well as holding their breath that another fraternity fucks up harder and steals the spotlight before they have to take action.

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