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5 Things the Syracuse Bursar Office is Thankful For—And You Should Too!

The employees of the Syracuse Bursar Office lead lives full of sending expensive billing statements to people, receiving strongly-worded phone calls about said statements, and going home, only to do it again the next day. And the day after that! In a world full of repetitive drama, there are some very specific (and tantalizing) things that the Bursar Office is thankful for.

6.) Pre-stick envelopes:
“No lick, no ick,” as they say! These modern gadgets are amplifying up the Bursar Office’s high-tech game, big time! The process of sending out the $1,000 bills to each and every student is expedited by this handy-dandy weapon of destruction. Best of all, the pre-stick envelope leaves a mumps-free touch. Mmmmm! 

5.) Farro, “the most underrated grain”:
Bread is all the rage in this nation (quinoa, too). But it’s time farro gets its moment in the sun. This mouse excrement-looking superfood with a dehydrated bug-like texture is sure to bump up your Friday evening supper, big time! Best without water, it dries up your mouth like a desert on a hot, hot day! Bursar officers can’t get enough of it!

4.) Pre-recorded answering messages:
It’s five o’clock somewhere, and your Bursar busybodies can’t be hanging around the phone ready at your beck and call! This robot asks enough questions to ward off half of their callers. Implementing one of these bad boys in your workspace and you’re sure to be chillin’ out, maxin’ relaxin’, all cool, big time!

3.) Basketball szn—can you say “WINTER”?!
Talk about icing someone, Syracuse! Talk about chill, Syracuse!  These badass Bursar officers have been braving the Syracuse snow since last week when it snowed for the first time. Take one step outside, and you’ll appreciate your indoor heating system, but, hey, without the Orangemen lighting up the Carrier Dome this winter, harassing students would lose its allure. 

2.) stocking to-go cups of Raisin Bran:
“It’s just a good cereal,” said an anonymous Bursar officer. They elaborated further on how the “raisins add a bit of a surprise in a mouthful of fibrous oats.” When asked for more detail, this Bursar busybody refused. Way to stick it to us!

1.) The mumps:
It gets more people, more stressed, more quickly. It really is like magic how the mumps have begun doing the Bursar’s office jobs for them. 

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