Late Friday evening the Syracuse Department of Public Safety received an anonymous call indicating two nude students were running from The Hall of Languages to Greek Row on Walnut Street. As DPS officers arrived on the scene, they were directed to the Tri Chi house, widely recognized as the campus’s Film Fraternity. Hearing nothing but loud screams, the two officers forced their way in. Officer Will Naples, who first entered, explained to The Black Sheep, “The screams indicated the distress or potential harm of another student. But when we got in there… we realized that it was, well, something else.”
That “something else” was an elaborate pornography production.
“Pretty sophisticated lighting kits, tripods stationed at all angles, newer cameras… this was no hack-job. I would assume the quality of the product to be much higher than most videos men my age watch online,” said Officer Dan Kelly, also on the scene.
DPS tracked the equipment back to the Newhouse Cage, where it was reported that dozens of devices were signed out every Friday under the name “Dirk Diggler.” It didn’t take long to track the student under the alias after officers took each of the 16 members of the fraternity into questioning.
“Most film students tend to be smart and witty – quick on their feet,” Officer Kelly stated. “However, we knew going into the interrogation that there would be a question all of them would have to answer truthfully. A sort of film student’s weakness per say.”
This question, we’ve come to find, was “What is your favorite movie?”
When Tri Chi’s president, Mark Jacobsen, hiccuped and truthfully answered Boogie Nights, it was a dead giveaway. He later admitted to signing out the equipment. His cooperation led to the confiscation of hard-drives containing hundreds of professionally-shot pornographic videos and clips.
Consequently, all of Greek Life at Syracuse has been immediately suspended following further investigation into the videos’ production and the possible sales and distribution of them.
We caught up with longtime friend of Jacobsen, Jeff Murray, who is a member of a social fraternity of which he wishes to remain anonymous. “I can’t believe Mark would do something like this. The kid has a 3.9 GPA and is one of the smartest kids I know. In fact, the whole Film Fraternity is a bunch of eggheads. You would think these brainiacs would know better. Instead, they have to ruin it for the rest of us real fraternities.”
Murray is not alone in his shock and anger. This is the feeling shared amongst all social fraternities on campus. In fact, this Tuesday all members of social fraternities and sororities have scheduled a trip back to Syracuse despite their Summer break to hold a rally in protest to the sanctions on Greek Life as a whole.
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