It’s no secret that Syracuse’s tuition is projected to go up quite a hefty amount: University Senate released a statement with the new total cost of attendance to be just over $70,000. Thank god everyone is so rich, or else this may seem a little daunting! For those of you who need to cut somewhere around $6,000 out of your budget — or this year’s tuition vs. next year’s tuition — The Black Sheep is here to help you out.
5.) Stop wasting your money on textbooks:
Textbooks are one of those “take it or leave it,” kind of deals here at Syracuse. Do you really need the book? Or is it more-so a seasoning for an already dull class? Life hack: don’t put pepper on a poorly-cooked ham! Same thing applies to textbooks, being the pepper, and your classes, of course, the ham.
4.) Don’t eat:
Recently, filter-feeding has been a really up-and-coming technique for getting nutrients. Another suggestion? Photosynthesis. Life begins just outside your comfort zone, so step on out and eat that goddamn sun up.
3.) Sign a half-year lease:
Local leasers would definitely be so open to having you sign a half-year lease. Generally, the landlords around here are just so fucking amazing and extremely open to working everything out with you. Love them! For the second half of the year, take up a nomadic lifestyle. Sleep in a dining hall! They close pretty early, so it’s all peace and quiet for you after around 10 p.m.!
2.) Sell your car:
You really don’t need that ugly ass Camry anyway, right? Talk about losing street cred!
1.) Stop paying all your professors to have sex with you:
This is such a dire situation that is running rampant across campus! Not sure why this is such an epidemic right now. A great way to save some Kinzcash is to just stop messing around with your life science prof. Or, at the very least, ask for maybe a lower rate.
All that glitters is not gold, and Syracuse, of course, is orange, so you heard it here first!
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