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6 Lame Textbooks You Should Buy Instead Of Tickets To Any Syracuse Game

Welcome back to campus! It’s a very exciting time for everyone, the two most exciting things being: 1.) Being the purchasing of some thicc textbooks, and 2.) Wasting a lot of your hard earned cash on tickets to go watch SU lose some football games! How ‘bout it! Here’s some advice to the weary traveler: save the money for tickets for Syracuse football games and just put all your efforts into a lovely read from the Syracuse University Bookstore. Here are the top 6 textbooks to fuel your academic itch.

6.) CHE 411 – Inorganic Chemistry
Who needs football when you have a light read on kooky little molecules and a series of step-by-step tutorials on how to make things blow up? The only thing better than Organic Chemistry is INORGANIC Chemistry. Here in America, we love artificial things!

5.) MAT 414 – Introduction to Ordinary Differential Equations
If you don’t nut based on the title alone then something is seriously wrong with you. Like, does it get ANY better than this? This Friday night, kick back, relax, and crack open this bad Larry of a book instead of going to the game.

4.) COM 107 – Communications and Society
Any Newhouse Wench knows that this class and this textbook was the best thing that ever happened to them! Everything they know is based off this novel and nothing more. If you ever want to be a rich and famous TV producer, this is the book you should be reading instead of entering the Dome.

3.) BIO 463 – Molecular Biotechnology
…And you’re turned on again! Another tantalizing classic. Once you get past sounding out the title of the book syllable by syllable, this book is sure to make your brain go, “Wow! I am turning to dust!” For the easy breezy price of $900 (probably), this light read is all yours.

2.) WGS 452 – Feminism and Postcolonial Studies
Not for the faint of heart! If you haven’t joined the fourth wave of feminism, now’s your time to start surfing. Additionally, if you’re a white boy that’s scared of this class, you should be! The whole syllabus is only about tampons, so buckle up, because those are so gross and cursed. But not as cursed as SU football.

1.) RES 631 – Real Estate Principles
Wait, we have this here? Make sure to grab a copy of your own, maybe to read up on how we have to keep saving the Baby Boomers from financial real estate disaster. Nothing says, “This is so much better than football!” than a copy of a real world account of a bad game of Monopoly!

What are you waiting for? The bookstore closes at 6 p.m., hop to it! Think of all these fun textbooks you’ll be able to buy with all the money you saved from not watching Syracuse lose another game.

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