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Top 6 Sh***y Things About Your Hometown That Remind You of Syracuse

You’ve been home from Syracuse for only a short time now. However, this short time seems a bit too long for us, seeing as the couch has a defined imprint of your buttcheeks and your Netflix account is running out of suggestions for you. To top it off, your hometown landmarks are a constant reminder of a shittier version of your favorite place.

6.) That sidewalk over there:
It’s beaten down and dirty from years of wear and tear. There’s, like, weeds and dandelions growing out of those sporadic cracks. But gosh darnit, this shitty sidewalk can’t help but make you think of that iconic, salt-stained beauty that we, full of privilege, refer to as our promenade. It’s just too easy to miss making awkward eye contact every other day on the promenade with that one guy from your MAT 121 class who always tried to cheat off of your bi-weekly quizzes.

5.) That hardly-working air conditioner:
It’s about 90 degrees outside, and it feels like you’ve just been greeted into Satan’s lair. There’s simply nothing else to do except further develop that buttcheek imprint into your couch and veg out all day with the AC on blast. Although it alternates between hardly working and freezing your limbs off, the thought of your AC makes your mind go to… hmm… what is that thing called again? Oh yeah, Carrier? The Carrier Dome? Don’t you just miss Dome Nachos and not being a part of March Madness?

4.) That small child over there:
Ya know that mural with that tiny, tiny man? Yeah, that one. Miss that… Ok maybe stop staring at that kid. 

3.) That statue outside of your town hall:
Whether it be Abe Lincoln near Maxwell, Ernie Davis near the Dome, or that warrior with the extremely flexible back outside of Carnegie, this statue in your hometown just brings you back. Albeit from a culturally insensitive origin, that statue outside your town hall still makes you think of the variety of statues that ‘Cuse has to offer, because we pretty much have enough statues to start their own student org. Every turn we take on campus, we are blessed to be in the presence of yet another statue! Don’t you just miss being cultured?

2.) That local “hit music station” in your area:
Once every 20 minutes, “Closer” comes on. It just doesn’t seem right to be bopping along to this song in the passenger seat of your mom’s fuel efficient hybrid instead of in a close-to-condemned house basement on Comstock.

1.) That bag of groceries:
Mom just came home from the local supermarket. Awesome! That means a fully stocked fridge and a nice thick snack closet. But wait! What’s this? You are unloading an environment-killing plastic bag only to discover that Mom bought a bag of oranges. God dammit.

How many days until we are back? We cannot keep avoiding these bags of groceries like this, it’s just getting weird.

Oh, and listen to our podcast while you schedule! 

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