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6 Late Night Food Spots Around Syracuse that You Should Definitely Call for Phone Sex

It’s no secret that Syracuse University is in a hub for late night food destinations. But take a seat, foodies! This one goes out to all those horny bastards just looking to get down ‘n dirty instead of eating. Lucky for that lot, The Black Sheep has deemed these late night food spots to be in the top six for welcoming phone sex!

6.) Jimmy John’s:

Nothing says “do me” quite like an 8” Italian Night Club. For all those out there craving a lighter and more intimate fare, the Beach Club will be a nice topic to start on. Jimmy John’s is notorious for nearly crashing into and killing students around campus via bicycle. Be sure to bring up that you, too, like it rough.

5.) Calios:

This is the place to call if you’re looking for something very non-intimate, extremely quick, and probably uncomfortably awkward. If “awkward” and “fake” are something you thrive off of, Calios is the phone sex you’re looking for. Calios’ version of talking dirty is letting the phone caller know what kind of meat they use. “Pound it for a buck?” More like “pound us for a buck!”

4.) Pita Pit:

You like it dirty, and you like it really dirty. With extremely not fresh and inorganic foods as their frontline, Pita Pit is just begging for any and all attention via phone. To distract them from the fact that you do not want to consume their pitas, avert all attention to something else. Sexting would probably bode better with Pita Pit.

3.) Strong Hearts:

You’ll probably have plans to have phone sex with Strong Hearts, and they’ll fall asleep around 8 p.m. before you get a chance to call. Strong Hearts just simply doesn’t know how to let loose, so this would be a perfect first-stop for any phone sex excursion. Due to habits that are far too clean, and also inability to halt discussion on the vegan agenda, Strong Hearts is exclusively set aside for phone sex virgins.

2.) Insomnia Cookies:

There’s nothing quite as enticing as an establishment that doesn’t sleep. All you Hornisaurus rexes out there will love Insomnia for their ability to just always be open. This university doesn’t sleep, and this cookie haven is ready to give it to you any time, any place, any day, baby. Snickerdoodle-do me, Insomnia!

1.) Domino’s:

Probably the best at phone sex, they’re pure experts in how to handle all horny compulsions. They’ll give it to you right back after admiring their thick, juicy cheesy bread, and their sweet, toned cinnamon sticks. Foreplay with all the mediocre appetizers before discussing the long-lasting pan pizza as the main course. It’s embarrassing to climax to pizza too soon.

Standard rates and data services may apply, but no further protection is needed in all these late night outlets. Go crazy and experiment with all your favorite late-night food destinations. The later it is, the better.

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