All posts tagged "Notre Dame"
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Notre Dame
Father Jenkins Plans To Attract New Donors By Bragging About His BDE
October 15, 2018In order for the university to keep spending absurd amounts of cash on rooftop landscapes and...
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Notre Dame
Freshmen Still Wearing ‘The Shirt’ After 5 Sweaty Weeks Of Football
October 1, 2018After five whole weeks of Notre Dame football, it’s become apparent that many freshmen feel they...
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Notre Dame
Decio Café Challenges Newfs As Number One Seller Of White Claw In Indiana
September 28, 2018According to Newfs’ credible and entirely factual Instagram, they have claimed that they number one seller...
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Notre Dame
After 87 Years Notre Dame Stadium Celebrates One Billion Sunburnt Necks!
September 19, 2018Following the third consecutive home September football game, Notre Dame Stadium is proud to announce that...
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Notre Dame
Recipe Leaked!: Father Jenkins Prepares Special Batch of Kool-Aid for Incoming Freshmen
August 29, 2018This recipe is not for the faint of heart— Father Jenkins doesn’t do anything by halves....
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Notre Dame
Eager New Dillon RA Unaware That Someone Just Pooped In The Middle Of The Hallway
August 21, 2018After days of lofting beds and carrying suitcases into bright-eyed freshman’s rooms, Dillon Hall RA, Trevor...
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Notre Dame
Class of 2022 Helps Notre Dame Make Unprecedented Strides Towards Diversity
May 3, 2018Each year Notre Dame boasts a freshman class that is the “most diverse, unique, talented, and...
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Notre Dame
An Hour-by-Hour Breakdown Of A Day In The Life of Father Jenkins
April 30, 2018Everybody wants to know how the other half lives. What’s Brad Pitt’s favorite late-night snack? Does...
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Notre Dame
Senior at Newfs Whispers ‘You Know, I’m Not Really Happy at All’ to His Own Drink
April 26, 2018Joseph Romano was enjoying a night out last Friday night at the one and only Newfs...
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Notre Dame
Fr. Jenkins Reaffirms Commitment to Knocking Notre Dame Out of the US News Top 20 Universities
April 25, 2018As the academic year draws to a close, the Office of the President has released its...