All posts tagged "Notre Dame"

Notre Dame

Father Jenkins Plans To Attract New Donors By Bragging About His BDE

In order for the university to keep spending absurd amounts of cash on rooftop landscapes and...

Notre Dame

Freshmen Still Wearing ‘The Shirt’ After 5 Sweaty Weeks Of Football

After five whole weeks of Notre Dame football, it’s become apparent that many freshmen feel they...

Notre Dame

Decio Café Challenges Newfs As Number One Seller Of White Claw In Indiana

According to Newfs’ credible and entirely factual Instagram, they have claimed that they number one seller...

Notre Dame

After 87 Years Notre Dame Stadium Celebrates One Billion Sunburnt Necks!

Following the third consecutive home September football game, Notre Dame Stadium is proud to announce that...

Notre Dame

Recipe Leaked!: Father Jenkins Prepares Special Batch of Kool-Aid for Incoming Freshmen

This recipe is not for the faint of heart— Father Jenkins doesn’t do anything by halves....

Notre Dame

Eager New Dillon RA Unaware That Someone Just Pooped In The Middle Of The Hallway

After days of lofting beds and carrying suitcases into bright-eyed freshman’s rooms, Dillon Hall RA, Trevor...

Notre Dame

Class of 2022 Helps Notre Dame Make Unprecedented Strides Towards Diversity

Each year Notre Dame boasts a freshman class that is the “most diverse, unique, talented, and...

Notre Dame

An Hour-by-Hour Breakdown Of A Day In The Life of Father Jenkins

Everybody wants to know how the other half lives. What’s Brad Pitt’s favorite late-night snack? Does...

Notre Dame

Senior at Newfs Whispers ‘You Know, I’m Not Really Happy at All’ to His Own Drink

Joseph Romano was enjoying a night out last Friday night at the one and only Newfs...

Notre Dame

Fr. Jenkins Reaffirms Commitment to Knocking Notre Dame Out of the US News Top 20 Universities

As the academic year draws to a close, the Office of the President has released its...